I can say that, can't I?
You gotta love faith-based comedy:
Two controversial preachers, a former Las Vegas escort and an author on spirituality have been recruited by ABC to debate the existence of Satan on Friday.
Okay, one more time:
Two controversial preachers, a former Las Vegas escort and an author on spirituality have been recruited by ABC to debate the existence of Satan on Friday.
The unexpected line-up will tackle the issue at Mars Hill Church in Seattle for ABC's "Nightline Face-Off" series, which will air on March 26.
Arguing that the devil does exist will be Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church and Annie Lobert, founder of Hookers for Jesus. On the other side of the debate are Deepak Chopra, author of Jesus: A Story of Enlightenment, and Bishop Carlton Pearson who is often labeled as a heretic for his Gospel of Inclusion preaching.
Considering the line-up, the debate is not likely to get into any complex theology and history, according to T.J. Wray, associate professor of religious studies at Salve Regina University in Newport, R.I., as reported by the Seattle Times.
Look, I'm at work, so I'm not even going to Google "Hookers for Jesus," okay? Knock yourselves out. Or up, as the case may be.
I'm just saying. Is this discussion mission critical, really?
Let's say on the off chance the debate concludes with global concensus. "Yes, Satan exists, walks among us, eats lava, and is in charge of tweener programming for Nickelodeon;" or, "No, Satan is merely a mythological figment and I am as a human being 100% responsible for my actions."
Where do I spend this new understanding? Can it be redeemed for world peace, jobs for the unemployed, health care for children, or at least a fuller head of hair?
I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to this question. Which is that there is no Satan, but a dumpy guy named Carl who is three inches tall, dresses like a pirate, and directs my behavior. Every so often he appears in my pants and says things like, "Turn left here," or "Eat lunch," or "Trade your daughter for weed." I do what he says, let the chips fall, and then apologize if necessary to Kevin, my personal deity, who is very cool like that.