Well, I made the decision yesterday to close my business. I opened my store two years ago and felt pretty good about how it was going after the first year. I was tracking about 30% ahead of the prior year's sales when along came those famous September '08 bailouts. It was as if the lights went out. I struggled through the Holiday season with sales down about 15%. Considering the gains I had been making, this was obviously a big hit.
I am pretty grief stricken about this because I put my heart, soul, and so much more into this business.
There's more.
I started this business with a small inheritance from my Mother. I took a tired old 1,000 square foot storefront and turned it into a thing of beauty. My husband helped me take the drywall off an old brick wall and take down two dropped ceilings to reveal the old wooden ceilings. We worked our fingers to the bone. I'd post pictures of before and after but frankly, I don't have the energy right now to upload them to flickr.
I've tried to think of creative ways to keep going. I am in the midst of setting up an online store, but my sales are just not enough to meet my rent and other obligations without bankrupting me. I asked my landlord for some temporary rent relief (25% of my base rent for 4 months) to see if I could ride out the bumpiest of what I thought I was up against economically. Their answer: "There's no free lunch in this business."
I had to tell my beloved employee today about my decision. She started working with me before we even opened. I cried.
Now I get to go through the agonizing months of selling off my inventory, store fixtures, whatever I can to pay off the credit cards that I've used for the past six months so that I could inventory my store. I also need to go through the process of coming out of this emotionally whole. I've been so personally invested in this place that it feels like I'm cutting off a limb. I think I'll also have to start processing my rage. This did not have to happen. While a bunch of truly evil beings destroyed our economy, our national reputation, tortured people, killed innocent people, they were also destroying the hopes and dreams of people like you and me.
I don't think my crying is done.