So it seems that Vermont Governor Douglas has decided that he will veto marriage equality when it reaches his desk.
My frustration is so great that all I can think to do is put into words what I'd like to say to him about his decision.
Governor Douglas,
I live in Maine with my partner. We are upstanding citizens - I work for a non-profit and he is a farmer. We give back to our community. We regularly raise money for charity. My partner is the one that people come to for help when one of their cows tips into a semi-frozen body of water or a horse has broken through a fence.
We are respected in our community, but we are not seen as equal in our community.
Because we aren't married, ours in not a relationship that is seen as even close to equal to that of the high school kids that got married because "the stork is on the way", or the (admittedly very nice) woman who just married for the fourth time to someone she has known for 3 weeks.
I don't begrudge them, but I do begrudge you.
You see, we desperately want to marry. Not for the legal protections it affords, although that is important. We want to marry so we can stand before our community and state - as equals - that our union is binding and lasting, and we can be counted on to remain a part of the fabric of our town.
But you, Governor, state that, somehow, that will be a distraction. That now isn't "the right time".
You're wrong. Now is exactly the time. When we as a community and a nation are hurting, now is exactly the time for us to be a solid rock for our community. Now is exactly the time for people to know we are committed to each other and those around us for the long term.
I know I live in Maine and you are in Vermont. But your decision has a ripple effect that reaches to all of the New England states that are fighting for equality within our states and our communities.
You're also on the wrong side of history, Governor. Years from now, your children and your grandchildren are going to be asked why you did this. They will shake their head, a little embarassed that the subject came up...again. And they will say something like "I don't know. I can't comprehend it myself. I guess he was just behind the times." And, being good friends, the questioner will nod politely and change the subject, seeing the pain it causes them.
This will be a big part of your legacy. And you have chosen to be on the side of inequality. Against building of commitment and community. In favor of fear and ignorance.
Because, believe it or not, there will come a day when this will be a non-issue. And instead of leading the way, you chose to stand in the schoolhouse doorway. And we all know how that picture looks today.