Dear Family and Friends,
I'm sorry it had to end this way but it was my fate. I couldn't handle life anymore. You see, the reason I ran away before to commit suicide is the same reason I did again. I'm gay. I never wanted to be and I always wished it would change, but it didn't. I wanted to live a normal life but God created me this way for some reason and there was nothing I could do to change it. I was born this way, believe me I would not choose this way of life for I know how hard and unaccepted it is. I'm painfully sorry you all had to deal with this but I couldn't deal with it. This way I could live a peaceful afterlife instead of a life of fear, agony, and manic depressiveness. Please realize I did not want to hurt anyone I just wanted to end my own pain. I love you all dearly and will someday see you all again hopefully with your understanding hearts and souls. I just hope God will bring me to heaven.
Bruce, a 21 Y.O., traveled to No Name Point at the Grand Canyon and jumped from the 500 ft. cliff to his death. The short suicide note above was found by his Mom. (from Better Dead than Gay)
Bobby Griffith was an all-American boy. He was a nice, hardworking kid from the suburbs who attended church and was loved by his family. When at age fifteen he realized that he was gay, he came upon a conflict for which he found no solution: His family and his religion taught him that his sexual orientation was a sin.
From Bobby's diary:
I can't ever let anyone find out that I'm not straight. It would be so humiliating. My friends would hate me. They might even want to beat me up. And my family? I've overheard them....They've said they hate gays, and even God hates gays, too. Gays are bad, and God sends bad people to hell. It really scares me when they talk that way because now they are talking about me.
from the 1995 USA Today feature story, "A Gay Son's Suicide, A Mom's Rebirth."
Soon a tractor-trailer roared toward him on the freeway below and, with perfect timing, he jumped the 25 feet into its path. The impact ripped away most of his clothes. He was killed instantly.
New research reports that being victimized because of sexual orientation is a chief risk factor for suicidal behavior among gay, lesbian and bisexual college students. The study is the first to explore the link between victimization and suicidal behavior among college students. Also uncovered was a group of students who previously had not been studied and are at increased risk for suicidal behavior. These students identified themselves as heterosexual, but also reported being attracted to people of the same sex or engaging in same-sex behavior. This group was three times as likely as heterosexuals to have made a plan to commit suicide in the past year and six times more likely to have actually attempted suicide in the same period. Gay, lesbian and bisexual students also were at increased risk for suicidal behavior. They were twice as likely as heterosexuals to have planned and to have attempted suicide in the previous year.
Some Facts About Suicide:
In America, more than 32,000 people complete suicide each year (2005 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).
Suicide is one of the top three causes of death among 15 to 24-year-olds; only accidents and homicide occur more frequently (2006 National Adolescent Health Information).
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college campuses (2008 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).
For every completed suicide by a young person, it is estimated that 100 to 200 attempts are made (2003 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey).
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (Massachusetts 2006 Youth Risk Survey).
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth who come from a rejecting family are up to nine times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (2007 San Francisco State University Chavez Center Institute).
Warning Signs:
A tendency toward isolation and social withdrawal
Substance abuse
Expression of negative attitudes toward self
Expression of hopelessness or helplessness
Loss of interest in usual activities
Giving away valued possessions
Expression of a lack of future orientation (i.e. "It won't matter soon anyway").
For someone who has been very depressed, when that depression begins to lift, the individual may be at INCREASED risk of suicide, as the individual will have the psychological energy to follow-through on suicidal ideation.
If you or someone you care about is showing any of these signs, please do not hesitate to pick up the phone to speak with a trained counselor at The Trevor Helpline: 866-488-7386
Established in 1998 to coincide with the HBO airing of the award winning short film, Trevor, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, The Trevor Helpline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.
The Trevor Helpline is a free and confidential service that offers hope and someone to talk to, 24/7. The Trevor Helpline's trained counselors will listen and understand without judgment. If you or someone you know would like to talk to one of our highly trained counselors, dial 866-488-7386.
GLBTQ youth is four times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth. Yet, while the discrepancy between rates of suicide among GLBT and straight youth is well established and acknowledged to be accurate, there is no way to get precise data about the actual rate of suicide for GLBT youth, says Charles Robbins, executive director with the Trevor Project, a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention hotline aimed at GLBTQ youth. That’s because coroners reports don’t disclose sexual orientation, and many families don’t acknowledge their children were gay and so don’t include the information on their death certificates. Further, some teens who commit suicide never disclose their orientation.
Compounding the difficulty is the fact that there’s a "huge gap" in research on GLBT suicide, says Ann Haas, Ph.D., research director for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). "Mainstream suicide research and prevention has not really addressed [GLBT suicide]." After discussions with the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) and the Suicide Prevention Resource Center for more than a year, the AFSP this month cosponsored what it says is the first national conference to examine suicide risk in the GLBT community. The event brought together 25 experts from around the country to assess current knowledge about GLBT suicide and to develop future research, prevention and treatment initiatives.
Determining what those initiatives will be will possibly be best served by ignoring statistics on the subject, says Dr. Rob Garofalo, the GLMA’s past president. Garofalo says the gaps in research have contributed to misconceptions and misinformation regarding suicide risk for GLBT people.
For example, while the disproportion between estimated rates of suicide in GLBT and straight populations is accurate, reports that up to a third of GLBT youth attempt suicide are not necessarily so, he says. That oft’-promulgated statistic, he says, is likely the result of the aforementioned inadequate means of data collection. Further, says Garofalo, who is also a faculty member in adolescent medicine at Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago, his clinical experience does not support it. Consequently, he suggests that the scientific community stop talking about statistics and concentrate instead on a "nuanced discussion of the issue."
Part of the discussion is about the role the social environment plays in GLBT suicide. "Deeply-held, systemic social beliefs like internalized homophobia play a crucial role in GLBT suicidal ideation" says Michael Kimmel, LCSW a licensed psychotherapist in Kensington. "Suicidal ideation is a by-product of systemic influences, just like racism," he says. "To say that an individual should be able to easily rise above internalized homophobia is as ridiculous as saying that an individual should be able to easily rise above racism. ... Among [GLBT] young people, whose ego strengths are shaky simply due to the fact that they’re still discovering who they are and how they fit in, internalized homophobia says, ‘You don’t fit in and you never will.’ How could this not contribute to suicidal ideation?"
Currently, only Massachusetts includes sexual orientation on coroners reports, says Robbins, and the most qualitative and quantitative research comes from Massachusetts Department of Education. California’s Department of Mental Health is also considering adding sexual orientation to morbidity reports, he says, and, via Proposition 63, the state has allocated "lots of money" for suicide prevention in California. The department is also working on a strategic plan for suicide prevention in the state, he says.
from JAMA Vol.287(10) pp.1221-1350, 2002:
I find that many homosexual patients have told me that awareness of their own sexual orientation began in their childhoods, and as teenagers they were confused, frightened, embarrassed, and thought of suicide. The medical literature strongly supports such an association between sexual orientation and suicidality. Remafedi et al, in a study of junior and senior public high school students, found suicide attempts reported by 28.1% of bisexual/homosexual males compared with 4.2% of heterosexual males (odds ratio, 7.10; 95% confidence interval, 3.05-16.53). A recent review article3 cited 10 studies that found consistently high rates of suicide attempts (20%-42%) among homosexual teenagers. Bagley and Tremblay found that rates of serious suicide attempts were 4 times higher in homosexual youth. Finally, in examining data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, Russel and Joiner conclude there is "strong evidence that sexual minority youths are more likely than their peers to think about and attempt suicide." These estimates are likely conservative, since they address only suicide among teenagers who are willing to admit that they are gay. Many more teenagers probably have neither "come out" nor discussed their feelings with anyone. Existing treatment programs, as Zametkin et al note, do not reduce subsequent adolescent suicide attempts; thus, homosexual or bisexual adolescents are probably even less likely to receive appropriate counseling.
Suicide among GLBT seniors
Although much of the media coverage of GLBT suicide pertains to youth, the issue is not limited to adolescents. An article in The New York Times details the horrors that can befall elderly GLBT people in nursing homes and their vulnerability to suicide:
Elderly gay people, living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers or receiving home care, increasingly report that they have been disrespected, shunned or mistreated in ways that range from hurtful to deadly, even leading some to commit suicide.
snip
The plight of the gay elderly has been taken up by a generation of gay men and lesbians, concerned about their own futures, who have begun a national drive to educate care providers about the social isolation, even outright discrimination, that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clients face.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s research director Ann Haas, Ph.D., says, "the data on suicides among gay and lesbian elders are anecdotal, totally. And yet, what we know about suicide is that the older age groups have far higher suicide rates than young people, particularly older men.
The CDC statistics pertain to the general population, however, says Haas. When we look at older GLBT persons, we have every reason to believe that the vulnerability is going to be compounded by lots of different factors. It’s the first generation that will be approaching aging with HIV as an issue. And physical health problems are certainly a risk factor for suicide among the elderly, as is isolation. Many, many people in this age group are the exact cohort that lost so many in their community back in the 80s and early 90s to AIDS. AIDS has devastated whole communities of gay men in particular. It’s important that we emphasize that the issue of GLBT suicide is not limited to youth.
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And if all this isn't disturbing enough to read, I came across any number of very disturbing websites and blog rants when Googling for this weeks diary which makes me conclude that the GOP rightwing fanatics don't just view gays as a force to be opposed from a religious and political perspective, many of these folks really do want us dead. In these rants, all the studies on high GLBT suicide rates are thrown into question repeatedly, even peer reviewed articles in respected journals like JAMA are mocked as part of the 'homosexual agenda'. We commit suicide in higher numbers because most of us are immoral drug addicts and depressed due to our sinful choice of lifestyles. These ongoing battles to assist high school kids establish gay-straight alliances is part of our sinister plot to corrupt the innocents, rather than student-teacher initiatives to reach out and save lives through solidarity within their own ranks. Even the outreach and support and solidarity displayed in the form of "day of silence" is answered mockingly on a number of campuses by the rights "day of truth".
I found this interesting rant about my dearly departed governor Mitt while looking for quote worthy angles to represent this disgusting, murderous political angle the GOP demands of their candidates in order to be seriously considered during their primaries.
Certain political acts are beyond the pale, such as cutting a teen suicide hotline. Unless they're gay, then it's called positioning. In light of the Great Orange Satan's and others' calls for Michigan Democrats to muck up the Republican race by voting for Romney, I thought revisiting his cuts for a gay suicide teen hotline would be in order (be very, very careful, he just might win...). About the cuts, I wrote:
Let's leave aside decency and morality and try to forget that Romney eliminated funding for a gay teen suicide hotline to curry favor with the theopolitical Right. Let's not plumb the dark, foul abyss that is Mitt Romney's soul. Let's not ask how morally decrepit one would have to be to attempt to gain political office through the suicide of a child.
Ordinarily, I would provide a link to the Weekly Dig article, but the Dig apparently doesn't believe in keeping its content on the web, so I went to the library and dug up the article from July 2006. Here's what Romney did:
Governor Mitt Romney is a mean, nasty dude. He's laying the groundwork for a presidential run and using the state budget to give sly handjobs to prospective GOP primary voters. He's willing to discard established bipartisan policy and trade votes for gay and lesbian kids' health, or even their lives. Haven't we heard this before? Sure we have. A year ago, the Dig pilloried the Stormin' Mormon for playing politics with the state budget. Romney had gone out of his way to cut funding for GLBT youth programming out of the state budget, apparently hoping that budgetary gay-bashing would curry favor among evangelical voters.
A year has passed, and Romney has us writing another governor-hates-the-gays article: He's building his conservative credentials by not only opposing gay marriage and civil unions but also cutting funding that's essential to keeping an at-risk population alive. We wonder: If pulling this stunt once made Romney seem cynical and opportunistic, what does it say about him, as a person and a candidate, that he would try it twice? And what type of voter is supposed to be turned on by this bullshit?
Last year, Romney cut $100,000 from the Governor's Commission on Gay and lesbian Youth-nearly one-third of that agency's already decimated budget for GLBT youth violence and suicide prevention. (The commission was created in 1992 by Republican governor Bill Weld and was funded in the million-dollar range by Republican governor Jane Swift.) Romney also eliminated funding and authorizing language for GLBT suicide and violence prevention outreach in public schools, and he gutted a line item that set aside domestic violence funding for gay and lesbian couples.
...This year's gay-related budget vetoes virtually mirrored last year's: Romney vetoed $100,000 from the Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth's meager $350,000 line item, cut language mandating GLBT youth suicide and violence prevention outreach, and eliminated funding for gay and lesbian domestic violence services. Romney also vetoed a budget rider sponsored by state Senator Jarrett Barrios that would have removed the Commission on Gay and lesbian Youth from the governor's purview. (The governor recently had a very public spat with the commission and, under pressure from local anti-gay groups, threatened to eliminate the commission altogether; he later backed off that threat.)
Even by its own twisted, evil logic, this makes no sense: if one stupidly believes that being gay or lesbian is an immoral 'lifestyle' choice, you can't save them if they're dead. Romney's political opportunism knows no bounds, however:
"Somebody went into that budget with a surgical knife, and they cut everything they thought would be politically expedient to cut, in terms of appealing to the world beyond Massachusetts," argues state Rep. Liz Malia. "It enables him to show the right wing of his party how much he's fought the so-called homosexual agenda. It's a very cold, calculating, strategic play, right out of the Rove playbook. He's clearly decided that he's going to reach out to this group of people--people who are afraid of us, people who say that we're less than human, that we're immoral, or whatever they think we are." Barrios adds, "In 2006, I would hope that gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention would be non-controversial; he's more interested in the voters of South Carolina than the South End, and that this might harm youth is of no account."
And you can be sure that Mitt won't be the only republican candidate in 2012 willing to throw us under the bus to appease the republican base thirst for red meat. Jindal and Palin are equally abominable in both their brand of religious fanaticism and their willingness to sell their souls for a shot at the White House.
(here is another Kossack diary on this topic)