Skip to main content

It seems Ted Stevens is going to jail, after all...

At a charity event, hosted by the National Press Club in Washington tonight, Attorney-General Eric Holder admitted that the stories that ran earlier today about a DOJ decision to abandon the prosecution of Alaska's former U.S. Senator Ted Stevens were all the product of an elaborate April Fool's Day prank.

Although Sen. Stevens believed that the prosecution was being dropped, the Attorney General said the real target of the joke was the media. Said Holder:

"We wanted to see if we could put one over on the whole press corps -- the whole country. I mean, what's the point of having all this power, if you can't have some fun? Elections have consequences. This is one of them. Face it, you guys got punked...big-time!"

According to Holder, the idea for the prank originated with President Obama himself.

"I told the President that it would be just too cruel, but Barry's got a wicked streak in him. The President said:

"C'mon! It'll be hilarious. Just imagine the old guy's reaction when he finds out it was all just a prank. He'll probably have a heart attack, or a stroke or something.'

"

Despite the earlier reports -- the story broke this morning on NPR -- Holder said the DOJ had no intention of letting Sen. Stevens off the hook.

"That old man is crooked, through and through. I'd sooner quit this job than let him walk away scot-free."

A-G Holder expressed some surprise that the story was treated so seriously.

"I still can't believe everybody believed we'd let that corrupt bastard go free."

Mr. Holder credited NPR's Nina Totenberg for helping to so effectively realize the April Fool's Day prank.

"Everyone knows that NPR runs an April Fool's story every year. Nina had to really sell this one. She did one helluva job."

Mr. Holder opined that

"This may have been NPR's best April Fools piece."

However, he added,

"Barry -- the President -- really deserves some serious props for this. It was his play, from start to finish."

Chuckling as he left the dais, Holder said

"If he doesn't stroke out tonight, that son of a bitch, Stevens, is going to jail. You can be sure of that."

Originally posted to FischFry on Wed Apr 01, 2009 at 08:34 PM PDT.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site