Just when I thought that my reputation as an egghead was secure, someone has to spot me at the gym...
I pride myself on being an intellectual man of education and reason. Contrary to what most conservatives believe, a man is not defined by the caliber of his firearm(s) but rather the degree of his intellect. I believe this is what makes the Right so infuriated when they consider their progressive political opposition. They cannot compete in the forum of idealism due to the diminished capacity between their ears. Therefore, they attempt to label progressives as "doves", "soft", or my personal favorite - "weak".
As a former college defensive lineman, I have a certain amount of physical strength beyond what some are able to demonstrate. Therefore, it was rather amusing to find myself in a conversation with a political conservative at my gym today over President Obama's "weak" foreign policy initiatives with Iran, China, Russia and Europe. After debunking his arguments with solid facts and reason (namely, that diplomacy presently stands to negotiate better deals than both Bush and Reagan could have ever dreamed militarily and economically - and without the lost lives and hundreds of billions wasted), the conversation turned to the iron on the rack before him. He continued to assert that liberals are weak - and that we both had a chance to prove who was stronger because we were performing the same exercise: The seated military press with a barbell. Surely, he could out-perform me, a devoted progressive, on a one-rep contest, right? To add honey to the pot, we insert some fiscal reward to this bet: The loser hands the winner a brand-spanking new Benjamin Franklin.
Normally, I eschew such juvenile bets because my time is worth more than the time it takes to adjudicate them. However, in this case I felt that a lesson needed to be learned. My opponent (let's call him "Jack" for the sake of anonymity) insisted on starting the sets with his warm-ups. Now, keep in mind "Jack" has never seen me perform any lifts. He only knows that I work out at this gym and have, on occasion, hit the stairclimber there.
Jack starts with 65 (bar plus two ten-pound weights) for 10 reps...
I begin with a set of 140 for one rep...
Jack moves to his next warm-up set of 95 for 8 reps...
I hit 240 for one rep... (Jack gets a look on his face I haven't seen since McCain during the first debate)
Jack hits 135 for one rep...
I hit 290 for one rep... (Jack looks constipated at this point...could have been those eggs for breakfast...)
Jack hits 145 for one rep...barely
I hit 310 for one rep... (Jack moves from constipation to indigestion...)
Jack tries, and gets buried by, 155...no lift...
Perhaps I'll do the classy thing and stop while Jack is humiliated...Yeah right, and maybe Obama should have conceded FL, IN, NC, and VA when he had already become the president-elect...
I load the bar with 330 (a new PR) - and I'm so pissed, I lift it like it's nothing...
As for Jack, he looks like he has just swallowed a wad of s**t...but to his credit, he hands over the Benjamin without comment.
"You must lift weights on a regular basis", he quips.
"Only before, during and after I played football for Anderson University, Jack. Now, tell me again how 'weak' liberals are again...", I retort.
Now, please believe me when I insist that the point of this diary is not to pat myself on the back. It is entirely possible that on a normal day I might have whiffed that 330 overhead seated press - and there are many men far greater than I who can lift less or more weight than I can. Today, however, it was personal. Don't ever let a tighty Righty tell you that progressives are "soft" or "weak" - whether it be physically, academically, intellectually, militarily or emotionally. Our predilection toward intelligence and reason make us effective and equitable policymakers, not "doves". Conservatives will slowly learn this lesson, just as "Jack" did, one election (or Benjamin) at a time.