On its simplest level, the goal of a motorized conveyance is to reliably get you from Point A to Point B (and anywhere in between), and then return you safely back to your point of origin. However, not all vehicles are made the same, and every now & again there are lemons. It can either be because of horrible build quality, glaring design flaws, or the wonderment of how groups of supposedly smart people spent time & resources developing such hideous aesthetically challenged products.
It's sometimes fun to walk back down memory lane & remember that rust colored piece of shit that you insanely spent thousands of your hard earned dollars on. And if there was more than one, which was that particularly shitty one?
I thought it might make for a fun weekend diary to talk about the crappiest car you've ever owned or the car that you believe is one of the worst ideas to come about.
But before I get to the awesomely lame vehicles, a little bit of automotive news.
Autoblog has the March 2009 sales figures, which showa a decline across the board for both domestic & foreign brands from this time last year, and it's not like March of 2008 was a great month for the auto industry either. However, keep in mind while looking at the numbers below that these stats are actually better than what was expected.
Also gleaned from the data, there are 831 nuts still buying Hummers.
I was talking with someone today about how all cars sorta look alike now. I could be completely wrong about this, but Hyundai's entire current lineup has always struck me as being a collection of "borrowed" design cues from other manufacturers. Their new two-door sports coupe, the Hyudai Genesis, seems to have taken heavy inspiration from Infiniti's G37.
The other topic of our discussion was the nice cars made by American companies that can't be bought by Americans. Ford is infamous for this, with differences between their European & American lines. One of the cars Ford sells in Europe is the Ford Fiesta. If someone we're to go out tomorrow looking for a small, practical, relatively cheap, fun to drive American brand car along the lines of a Honda Civic, there aren't that many to choose from.
Ford sells a diesel version of the Fiesta in Europe that gets 65 mpg. The brain trust at Ford has refused to sell it here, saying the market for diesel vehicles is not as strong in the U.S. as it is in Europe. However, starting next year Ford will begin selling the Fiesta in North America.
For years nearly every auto journalist in this country has been calling for Ford to replace its partially lackluster US range with its world-beating European cars and now, first with this Fiesta, then with the next-generation Focus and Mondeo/Fusion, all new Fords will be built on global platforms. There, despite facing stiff competition, nearly every one of Ford's vehicles is a clear leader in its class. That's because the European arm sets out to build great cars. American Ford has finally acknowledged that it too can build great cars, by bringing design and engineering over from Europe. Sure, that's a somewhat convoluted approach, but if, like with this Fiesta, they can sell genuinely exciting vehicles at a more-than-competitive price point, we don't care how they do it, we just want them. Now.
Jeremy Clarkson of the BBC's "Top Gear" took the Fiesta out on an unconventional test drive, in which he proved the car might come in handy if we should ever need to re-storm Normandy Beach.
Ok, enough of my dithering on about car news. On to the main issue at hand.
I love lists, and debating lists. And like music, television, film, and almost everything else that's based on a subjective opinion, someone's worst can be someone else's favorite. However, there are those things where most people have come to a consensus as to its greatness or whether it was crap.
President Obama has let his pick for worst car be known.....
"The car I learned to drive on was my grandfather's Ford Granada. ... It may be the worst car that Detroit ever built," the Illinois senator said in an interview with Indianapolis radio station WFBQ. "This thing was a tin can. It was during the '70s when oil had just gone up, so they were trying to compete with the Japanese," Obama said. "They wanted to keep the cars big, so they made them out of tin foil. It would rattle and shake. You basically couldn't go over 80 (miles per hour) without the thing getting out of control."
Let's start with the current crop of cars. According to Consumer Reports "Best & Worst 2009" list, the 10 worst scoring new cars are......
- Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sahara
- Hummer H2
- Hummer H3
- Jeep Liberty Sport
- Smart Fortwo Passion
- Chevrolet Aveo 5 1LT
- Dodge Nitro SLT
- Toyota FJ Cruiser
- Chevrolet Aveo LT
- Ford F-250 Lariat
Some years back,
Forbes compiled a list of the worst vehicles from around the world. Among their picks....
- Ford Pinto
"You don't want to talk about the Pinto," said a Ford official. "Leave that one in the cemetery." Apparently, Ford has not forgotten the lawsuits and the public relations disasters forged by its Pinto hatchback and sedan. The Pinto's famous safety flaw, of course, was that it was prone to blowing up if rear-ended.
- Ford Bronco II
Although many people loved them for their ruggedness, in the 1980s Ford's Bronco II sport utility practically invented the phrase "prone to rollovers." How bad did things get? The vehicle's drivers realized they probably shouldn't pilot the Bronco II up a steep hill; Ford's employees said as much in an inter-office memo that was circulated in 1986, according to the Center for Auto Safety. Ford sent out 288 service bulletins on the 1985 Bronco II alone; reading them spotlights a vehicle whose engines--and other major components, like alternators and ignition systems--failed often.
- Chevrolet Vega
The first time General Motors tested this car on the track, its front end reportedly broke off from the rest of the vehicle. When the Vega did reach the market, it was one of the most unabashedly no-frills cars in history. Starting at $2,090, the Vega offered little space with its 97-inch wheelbase (the distance from the center of the front wheel to the center of the rear) and had disturbingly little horsepower, 90, out of its four-cylinder engine.
- Mazda RX-2
There's a good reason that rotary engines never really caught on. Rotaries--which run in circles, unlike pistons, which run up and down--are like diesels; they had major problems early in life, creating a buying populace that to this date does not fully trust them. Mazda's RX-2, one of the first rotary-engine cars, had problems with catching on fire. It also raised the classic problems of rotary engines: bad fuel economy and emissions. Rotary seals would wear out early in an RX-2's life, leaking fuel and emissions along the way.
- Yugo GV
Yugos, priced below $4,000 when first introduced, came to America as a great benefit to comedians, and at the expense of value-conscious customers. The GV was Yugo's bread-and-butter model, and owners complained constantly about engine problems, steering problems, problems with the stereo, problems with the floor--basically, everything. What worked in a Yugo worked as poorly and cheaply as possible.
Over at Car Talk, they compiled "The Worst Car of the Millennium", with this list being based on audience feedback. Some of the comments are just hilarious, although I'm sure it wasn't hilarious for the people involved when the bad shit was happening.
- VW Bus
"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."
"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."
"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."
- Renault Dauphine
"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."
- Cadillac Cimarron
"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."
"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."
"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"
- Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare
"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."
"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."
- Renault LeCar
"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."
- Chevrolet Chevette
"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of drywall!"
"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would begin."
- AMC Gremlin
"Calling it a pregnant roller skate would be kind."
"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."
- Ford Pinto
"The car would do 75 mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70 mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."
- Chevrolet Vega
"When the rear end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of racing it. Racing who? My grandfather in his wheelchair?"
"As near as I could tell, the car was built from compressed rust."
- Yugo GV
"I once test drove a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear shift knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around the windshield."