I was home sick that morning, sleeping in to try and shake a bout of strep throat. I remember drifting awake at around 9 a.m. before settling back into sleep. I wouldn't know until later that that 6,200 pounds of ammonium nitrate, nitromethane, Tovex and fuel oil exploded in the back of a Ryder truck, sending the explosive force of two-and-a-half tons of TNT ripping through the capital of my state, killing an estimated 168 men, women and children.
When my feet dreamily took me downstairs, my parents looked worried. My mom was on the phone with her sister, who lives in Oklahoma City. They had heard the blast. They had heard the sirens in the distance. They were safe.
The people on TV were betting on Middle Eastern terrorists. I remembered the bombs set off in the basement of the World Trade Center, which was fortunately still standing. On the ground in the downtown portion of the City (what we Okies call our capital), babies and children were being carried out by firefighters, but it wasn't just emergency workers sifting through the building's remains. It was ordinary people too.
My dad, a doctor, offered to send medical supplies or donate his time free of charge. The charity organizations said this was not necessary, so great had been the response in so short of time. They were overwhelmed with offers of help from around the country. My mom led her Sunday school class in prayer. Even the president was asking people to pray. I couldn't remember that ever happening.
When they found the killer, his face was everywhere. It wasn't until the trial that I actually heard what he had to say. He said he might not have chosen that building to blow up if he had known about the daycare center that was inside. Too much collateral damage, he said. I guess he thought that would make people unsympathetic to his cause.
We heard a lot about his cause. A lot of people, it seemed, were angry with the government. Words and phrases popped up. Ruby Ridge. Waco, Texas. Some group called the Branch Davidians. Another called the Michigan Militia. More phrases, the Brady Bill, gun shows, the Federal Reserve.
None of this made a lot of sense to a seventh grader. But I tried in my own childish way to sort it out. A lot of people were angry. They seemed scared. Something they called the New World Order. The U.N. blue helmets. Black helicopters. Stockpiling things -- guns, food. They called themselves patriots. Talked about the Constitution. Their rights.
I'm hearing a lot of the same things today. History doesn't repeat, but does it ever rhyme.
More fears of gun bans. Stories about FEMA warehouses for rounding people up. Shooters who talk of a Zionist takeover. They're buying guns and ammo -- ostensibly because they think both will soon be hard to come by, with a Democrat in the White House. These movements are often racist, but now things are different for them. The color of the First Family's skin may be emboldening those who would normally shut up.
This time they've got the Web 2.0, and the community support it offers. They've got airwave allies in Glenn Beck, who peddles a fear mongering end-of-the-world-ism nightly, telling people to read old John Bircher books. They've even got their own representation in Michelle Bachmann, who is actively calling for revolution. These people may not mean what they're saying, but if that is so, they don't understand how it's being heard.
The anger right now is misdirected -- causeless, purposeless and leaderless. I am afraid of what could happen if some galvanizing event occurs. A real or perceived slight. A Ruby Ridge or Waco, Texas.
I want to close by saying that I am not an alarmist. I want to see the best in people, even when I find their views repugnant, and tell myself they're just blowing off steam. I want to think the country has learned a lesson. But I can't deny what my senses are picking up.
I hear echoes now from nearly 14 years ago. The explosion is practically ringing in my earss. Yet it seems so many are willingly deaf.
We've been down this road before, and I don't like the smell of where the road ends. It smells like gunpowder and blood and fertilizer.
UPDATE: Let's play a word game. Read the quotes below and see if you can tell who said them.
- "I want people ... armed and dangerous ... because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us 'having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,' and the people -- we the people -- are going to have to fight back hard if we're not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States."
- "Taxes are a joke. Regardless of what a political candidate "promises," they will increase. More taxes are always the answer to government mismanagement. They mess up. We suffer. Taxes are reaching cataclysmic levels, with no slowdown in sight ... Is a Civil War Imminent? Do we have to shed blood to reform the current system? I hope it doesn't come to that. But it might."
- "The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be "What the hell you mean we're out of missiles?"
- "In today's wars, there are no morals... We do not have to differentiate between military or civilian. As far as we are concerned, they are all targets."
(Answers: 1. Michelle Bachmann, 2. Tim McVeigh, 3. Glenn Beck, 4. Osama bin Laden)