It has come to my attention that your are seriously considering seceding from the Union. Dude, I have to admit I am impressed with your courage and thinking. You just may be onto something here. However, might I suggest before you move ahead with this audacious plan you take it out for a test drive first.
So here are a few suggestions, you know just to see how it all may work out.
- The next time you get hit by a massive Hurricane or other natural disaster - no calling FEMA for assistance. They have been instructed not to take your call anyway. It will be passed along to the State Department to see if their is any foreign aid available.
- Need some help with your inter-states, bridges, etc please take the US DOT off your speed dial.
- Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security these are now completely on you. You do have the option of doing away with them completely of course. I mean really they do kinda smack of socialism.
- Good news. You do get to bring all the citizens of the great nation of Texas home who are presently in the Armed Forces of the United States no matter where they are presently stationed. Truth is you are going to need them which brings me to #5.
- Need help along your border with Mexico because of the Mexican Drug Cartels. Deal with it.
- We will also be shuttering all the US Military bases within your nation and taking all the associated equipment with us when we leave. You are free to make an offer to purchase.
- Now as to your colleges and universities. A couple of things, no more Federal loans to Texas citizens attending colleges or universities, either inside your borders or out. Research grants from the Federal Government, yes those are gone. Oh I almost forgot they are out of the NCAA too.
- Since we are trying out this whole sovereign nation thing, please remember you are not party to the current NAFTA agreement. So while we negotiate one that may include The Nation of Texas anything you produce and export to the US will be subject to the appropriate tariffs.
- Your citizens by the way will need passports and will suffer the same indignities and hassles all foreign nationals receive when entering the US. In fact we will probably have too temporarily put every Texan on a watch list, just to be on the safe side.
I know I have forgotten a number of things, but we'll add to the list as they present themselves.
I'll give your a call in six months jut to see how it's going. This assumes you haven't been tarred, feathered and run out of your country on a rail.
Cheers and Good luck!
Steve