Texas wants to secede? Is there a petition I can sign to encourage them?
Texas governor Rick Perry has suggested the possibility of Texas leaving the union. To shouts of : "Secede! Secede!", Perry seemed to be threatening the USA with the loss of Texas.
LOL !!!! Please leave and take any other loons with you.
All Texas will need to do is:
Form its own army, navy, and air force
Establish relations with other nations in the world (GWB could be an ambassador)
Create and mint its own currency (and get other nations to accept it!)
Create its own Social Security System (funded only by Texans)
Create own Medicare System (funded only by Texans)
Establish its own stock market (unregulated, of course... the "Texas Way")
Defend its own 1200 mile border with Mexico
Hope that its small 370 miles of coastline will accommodate it shipping needs
Rebuild the damage from hurricanes, droughts, etc. without U.S money and services
Finance and build its own national highway system
Create cultural agencies (oops! Never mind; Texas has no culture!)
Create and run its own FBI, CIA, NSA, etc
Create its own FDA to monitor the health and safety of food and pharmaceuticals
Defend its citizens from threats and dangers around the world
Create and run its own postal system
Regulate their (four) nuclear power plants, and dispose of their own nuclear waste
Run their own Center for Disease Control
Create and run their own bankruptcy courts
Run their own census bureau
Guarantee the individual accounts in the banks in their state
Establish and run their own office for patents and trademark s
Provide their own guaranteed college loans and scholarships for students
Determine and enforce copyright provisions (for literature, music, art, media)
Build its own national power grid
Provide its own veterans’ benefits
Develop its own system to aid those with disabilities
Build and maintain its own railway system (and safety agency)
AND HOW SHOULD THE UNITED STATES REACT?
We must do everything we can to stop those damned Texans from coming across the border and taking jobs from Americans:
We must erect a wall along out new southern border (Pat Buchanan can supervise its construction)
Any Texans living in the USA must be deported (no matter how long they have been here)
INS raids of possible Texans in the USA will be necessary. Known hangouts of Texans should be targeted (especially Texas style barbecues!!)
Texaco gas stations should be boycotted
Anyone speaking with a Texas accent should be subject to harassment by law enforcement (If they want to live here... let them learn to speak American!!)
College students from Texas who attend American universities are unfairly taking the spots that should go to real Americans (Kick ‘em out!!)
We cannot take any chances... any aircraft from Texas that invades U.S. airspace should be shot down
All Texas sports teams should be banned from the USA; no more Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, Texas Rangers, Houston Astros, Dallas Mavericks, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Rockets, or Dallas Stars. Fuck ‘em..... they can play with themselves (something Texans are famous for!)
And BEST OF ALL: We immediately cut off the federal pensions from George W. Bush, Tom DeLay, Phil Gramm, and Dick Armey.