Dear Keith, Rachel, and Chris:
I have a big favor to ask of the three of you.
I know my request is probably a bit out of line with your journalistic ethics and integrity. But I'm making the request anyway, because I'm desperate. To support it, I will tell you that I usually watch each of your shows at least once a day, usually some of them more than once. I have the TV on MSNBC for the whole evening while I'm doing whatever I'm doing (mostly reading and commenting on Daily Kos, but occasionally I manage to do something else during my after-work hours.)
So anyway, back to my request.
Just moments ago, I had to mute the TV for the second time during this evening's episode of Hardball. I had to do this because, for the second time on this evening's episode of Hardball, Dick Cheney's face showed up on my TV, excreting the most infuriating imaginable shit out of his piehole.
I couldn't listen to it. I literally was unable to allow that assault on my ears, brain, and soul to proceed. Just the few words I did hear caused me to descend into what most neutral observers would probably describe as a deranged and maniacal frenzy. It sounded something like this:
SHUT UP! SHUT THE F*** UP!! SHUT YOUR F***ING MOUTH!! GET OFF OF MY TV YOU F***ING DICKFACE ASSHOLE!!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD! STOP IT!! JUST SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or something like that.
Keith, Rachel and Chris, I don't like feeling that way or acting that way. But honest to God I just can't help myself when that jackass sits in my living room and commits his diarrheic assaults on my senses and sensibilities.
And that leads to my request. I know, he's mildly newsworthy, in an ex oficio sort of way (certainly not because he is worthy of public attention in his own right). And I know that to some extent we the viewers should be aware of what he is saying and doing, if only to be mentally prepared to fight it.
But please. I'm begging you. Do not subject me to seeing and hearing that man ever, ever again. Ever. Please.
If you feel the need to inform us of what he's saying, that's cool. Just do it through a third party. I love listening to Gene Robinson, and now that he's won a Pulitzer I'd think you would want him on your show as much as possible. So maybe whenever there's some CheneyCrap that we need to hear about, you could bring Gene on to tell us about it, in his own brilliant and inimitable way.
Just please, for the love of God, keep Dick Cheney off my TV.