Let's just say in the last 2 years I have received many pre-approved credit card offers in the mail.
Hey, transfer your balance, how about some free sky miles. Points earned.
Gee, I wonder why we have a "Credit Card" problem. Yeah, I have exellent credit,
but to send me a credit card offer about every week for the last 2 years, is
The final straw, my 23 year old son finally received his first pre-approved fake
credit card. He has never financed anything, he doesn't have any credit
at all. But I guess they want to get him on the road to debt. Below is
a breakdown of who is sending me pretty fake credit cards.
I am going to make a collage out of them, a beautiful art project. That
was the reason I started saving them. So this stack of fake plastic
doesn't even represent all the cards I actually received.
Fulll disclosure: I have a CHASE and a Citibank card. I pay them off each month, don't
run a balance. One is for my business, the other personal. I used to charge my
groceries, then pay it off at the end of the month. But now, I just pay cash for
my groceries, so the credit card company won't even make the fees off the store.
The most desperate seems to be American Express, heres the breakdown:
Gold American Express, I have 19 fake cards
Delta Sky Miles American Express, 6 of those, one even came with a cute
Congratulations, I qualify for 2 plum cards whooopeee!
Lucky 13, that is the number of regular American Express cards, they are so pretty,
see-through plastic, with blue on them. Those are gonna look good on my art
Not done yet, I also have a stack of 15 Platinum fake plastic American Express cards. I always
wondered, is platinum a more expensive metal than gold. Anyone Know?
As I said I already have a Citibank Card, but that did not stop them from offering
me another card, 3 times.
And our favorite, Bank of America, or as I like to call them, Bank of Motherfuckers,
they sent me 5 very attractive fake cards. They are cheap bastards, the fake
credit cards are made of cardboard, instead of plastic. Although with all the
problems plastic is causing, I guess we can at least say that is a a good
Now on to Capital One, almost as desperate as American Express, with
a total of 30 fake credit cards. Though to their credit (ha,ha), some of
the cards are magnets, so I use them to hold shit up on my fridge.
About 10% of the Capital One's offer sky miles.
Discover is a bit more picky, only got one fake plastic. The prettiest card
of all. See through blue, with swirls, very nice.
Then there is a bank I never heard of called First Premier Bank, 3 offers of
a gold, and 4 offers of platinum again. Boy, the credit company's love their
Weirdly one card from Orchard Bank. Who the fuck are they?
And then 2 from all I can guess is an online bank called accepturcard.com. Yeah,
that sure sounds legit.
And my own bank offered 2 times, with the bank logo. Problem is they use
evil Bank of America to provide their credit card services. Been there, done
that, Fuck Bank of America.
So that covers credit cards, but I also have 11 cards from the cute little GEICO.
They are not credit cards, but offers for car insurance, but boy the little lizard
is so cute, sitting at a desk, scuba diving, even floating on air mattress in the pool.
Plastic cards are a popular form of selling you shit, so I will finish off with
the last of the weird cards I have. I have 3 cards which if you join, they promise
to pick you up in a Medivac Helicopter, rush you to the nearest hospital.
And finally I can have peace of mind if I sign up for the 10 offers of
road side help if I break down anywhere in the US. I guess it doesn't
cover if I travel to Canada or something.
And I wonder why we have a credit problem. Maybe if they didn't send
fake plastic out every other week, and then people are like "Oh, look
another credit card!" Or great offers to transfer balances, then jack
up the rates.
And I don't even fly, so what good are air miles to me? But I did get the
current Citibank I have to give me some of those reward points. Then
I can cash them in for gift cards. In fact I got a free meal from
Chili's this week.
If I ever figure out what kind of collage I want to make with all these cards,
maybe a giant credit card, made out of all these little ones. It sure is
a giant waste of plastic.
The flurry has slowed down. But I still get an offer, now maybe once
a month instead of every week. Entrapment is what they are doing, offering
up loose plastic, then jacking up your fees. You would think after 2
years of sending me offers, and I never bite, they would just fuck
off. But at least I will put the fake plastic to good use, and make
a object' d' art. or something like that.