Republicans have been hilariously trying to give Democrats branding suggestions as of late, as if their problem has been a lack of fresh new insults. Well, why we haven't had much of a shortage of insults of late (all we have to do is point at the latest Republican hilarity), that still doesn't mean we can't offer our own branding advice.
For starters, let's take a look at the Republican elephant logo:
Sure, it's cute and clever! But elephants never forget, and do we really want to remember the last eight years? Better to forget they ever existed. And it looks like it's moving forward. That's progressive! Nah, this is the conservative party, and it must cling to the past, pretending that Ronald Reagan is still hip with the kids and longing for the days when the threat of nuclear annihilation kept everyone cowering in fear.
Yes, the good old days. And sure, elephants face extinction while corralled into regional preserves, like the GOP, I'm afraid that symbolism is far too subtle for today's Republican Party. I mean, let's not forget that its intellectual foundation is provided by Joe the Plumber and Glenn Beck! So the party needs a new logo that is bold and, well, not subtle. So I got my crack team of branding experts on the case, and it took them only 33 minutes to come up with:
Perfect! We call it the Goposaur. It's looking back, to the past, refusing to evolve with the times as it longingly dreams of the days when only good, white, god-fearing dinosaurs roamed the earth and those multi-hued and highly evolved mammals weren't taking over the place and turning it into a socialist same-sex utopia with reeducation camps and 100% taxes. It's also ready to "go Galt", which apparently is a euphemism for quitting work and starving to death, thus negating the need for the giant asteroid. Their brains are the size of peanuts, after all.
I'm feeling particularly magnanimous these days, so in the spirit of bipartisan cooperation, I give Republicans this new logo for free. It's better than the "Poochie the Dog" thing Michael Steele is trying to get going. Here's a bonus version, also for free!
And since I really mean it about that "bipartisan" thing, Republicans can also take Joe Lieberman to even things out after that "Arlen Specter" hullabaloo.
It'd be unseemly to leave Republicans with one less dinosaur than they had yesterday.
Update: Oooh, after some tweaking, it's gotten even better:
I love the dino head growing out of the elephant's ass.