Like so many, our family is struggling financially, since my husband has been unemployed for going on a year. We are fortunate since my job is rather secure as a teacher, but it's pretty tough to support a family on a teacher's pay, alone. We will keep our home, barring any catastrophes, but there's little left after the bills and food. (Note: We do count ourselves fortunate. We know there are so many more in desperate straits.)
That said, this year’s Mother’s Day is definitely different for us. In the past, we'd have just run out to buy something gold and shiny, a bouquet of flowers, Godiva chocolates, and thought little of spending 3 or 4 bucks for Hallmark sentiments. We'd have taken my mother out to dinner -- anywhere you'd like Mom! We were middle class.
Instead, on Thursday night, I sat at the kitchen table with $25.00 that I'd earned from doing a portrait drawing for a neighbor of her son for her mother. (Like so many, I've started a small business. I do drawings from photographs, turning a hobby into much needed extra money.) I'd hoped to get the full price for the drawing, but my client's husband was laid off last week ... sigh ...so I cut the price and had $25.00 for Mother's Day. For everything. Dinner. Entertainment. Gifts.
As I looked at that twenty and five dollar bill sitting on the kitchen table, I have to admit that tears came to my eyes. THIS was not where I'd expected to be at 50, with 3 degrees! ...
But then, I thought about a few of my students who were homeless and felt ashamed of myself and my self-pity. I then thought about a recent post on this site where I'd watched a family of boys in Africa who went off to copper mines each day, and I felt truly disgusted with myself. Ugh.
AND, I also remembered a truly wonderful post about a short story about a miserable child in a box who made a whole community's wonderful way of life possible (can someone here PLEASE give me the link to that story and post?) and I got mad at myself seeing those boys going off to that copper mine in my mind.
I had $25 to make a special day for my Mother, who was alive and with me, still! What an incredible opportunity that really was, as I sat in my warm, safe home. What a great chance I had. I had 25 bucks to create a loving celebration for a woman I adore. And so began a spiritual development experience thanks to all of you, the Kos community.
With that, I corralled my son who is still young enough at 13 to get into Mom's crazy ideas and challenges, and we rummaged through the basement to find a basket. Then, we sat down to brainstorm how we could make it the centerpiece for our celebration of my Mom, his beloved, Nana, and make this the best Mother's Day ever on 25 bucks.
Our Total Budget: $25.00 for dinner, entertainment, and presents
With some excited brainstorming, an argument or two, and a trip to the grocery, hobby, Dollar Store, and more rummaging throughout the house and garage, we're exhausted but pretty darn happy with our day and plan for tomorrow. Below, you will find the rest of this diary presented not in prose, but rather as a budget. Somehow, that just seemed apropos.
And, if you are experiencing a similar familial situation, maybe some of our ideas might be helpful:
Dinner: $ 11.04 (for a feast for 4!)
Baked chicken ($3.96) An Amish free range hen on sale!
sausage stuffing (loaf of bread $1, ½ lb sage stuffing $1.50)
Gravy (can of cream of chicken soup w/ drippings $.79)
Baked potatoes (4 large ones $2.00)
Jiffy mix corn muffins ($.5)
Fresh asparagus (from a friend’s garden – a free, little luxury – ours for the picking, this morning!)
Cranberry sauce ($1.29)
Bread pudding w/ hot vanilla pudding for dessert (rest of bread loaf and $1 for pudding)
Entertainment: Free!
Netflix for Instant viewing of the Glenn Miller Story -
With a grandson’s love version of Moonlight Serenade on his trumpet during an intermission.
air popped popcorn w/ butter (We already had that.)
THE Basket of Goodies Gift $14.07
Irish Soda Bread (h/t to polarbear for posting the recipe by beach babe in fl)
4 cups all purpose flour ($1.39)
1-1.5 teaspoons salt
1-1.5 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups low fat buttermilk ($1.39)
Mix with strong wooden spoon until blended then mix with hands and knead about 10 times. Shape into about an 8 inch circle and place on greased baking pan. Bake at 375 degrees for about 40 45 minutes until lightly browned.
Dark Chocolate, Coconut Macaroon Cookies – homemade ($2.50 choc., $1.39 coconut)
Picture of grandson in baseball uniform w/ refurbished frame – He found an old frame and painted it white. Then, he hot glued ripped up pieces of baseball cards on it and decopaged it with thinned Elmer’s glue. It looks great! (no cost)
Sachets for her dresser drawers - We bought pink, little girl’s socks with lace and bows and filled them with gardenia bath salts ($2 from the Dollar Store)
2 Packets of note cards w/ envelopes (also $2 from the Dollar Store)
A CD w/ 5 Italian Operas downloaded from Apple (using a gift card we had)
6 scented beeswax votive candles, hand rolled by grandson ($2.50 from Hobby Store)
CD of grandson performing in the last band concert, that Nana missed when she had a cold. ("free" – we had the blank DVD and just had to copy it)
Pastel tissue paper ($1 from Dollar Store)
Petunia plants in a clay pot splashed with colorful paint splotches – ("free" – We’d already started our plants from seeds in plats and had the pot, paint, and potting soil)
Wrapping paper – homemade using family pictures we turned into Art Deco collages using a graphics package and printed out in b & w on our printer.
Cards – homemade My son’s contains a corny poem using Grandmother for the first letters in each line. Definitely a tear jerker.
It’s been a busy day with the planning, shopping, baking, crafting, computer work and printing, BUT it was a very good day. My husband, son and I spent the day, together, thinking about what would please Nana, and we snuck in a lot of learning, as well. Measurements with cooking, computer skills, budgeting, gardening, art ... My son wants to do the chicken, tomorrow, and watch how I make bread pudding like Nana’s mom used to make it for her as a child ...
We started out to make due with a lot less, and it turned out to be so very much more. I'm not saying that I LIKE this economic downturn in the least, but it wasn't a bad experience in getting back to a better way of actually living, and loving, with a lot less consumerism. It certainly is already, my best Mother's Day. Ever.
And yet, as for me, I remain feeling chagrined, humbled and oddly hurt and confused. I can't get those motherless boys going off to the copper mines out of my mind, even as I finish this diary.
Thanks KOS folks for the spiritual development. Happy Mothers Day, all.