...include the never investigated FACT that the person who put the BOMP in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp and the RAM in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong, DID NOT also put BOP in the bop-she-bop-she-bop!
(That - the BOP - was of course "put" by Michelle Bachman... on account of Jesus.)
Also...
...the number of licks it ACTUALLY takes to get to the middle of a Tootsie Roll Pop (which is 47-33-22-15-09 and NOT 3) was known only to Vince Foster, which is why Hillary Clinton murdered him at the behest of her BROTHER Bill Clinton who was plotting to destroy Caucasian America through the White House travel office, which was, at the time, run by rampant socialist Barack Obama, who was so busy burning every copy of his Kenyan birth certificate that he didn't have time to write "Dreams of My Father" in which he (Ayers not Obama) first laid out his justification for ACORN, which is REALLY a shadow organization of the ACLU who's plan is to NOT ONLY to register "Micky Mouse" and "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt" but to destroy the NRA and confiscate guns so that the current President (and his un-proud terrorist wife who stole the Senatorial election in Minnesota for Al Franken) can safely reveal their secret love of Islam as well as their alliance to the religious leaders of France (where they are currently plotting to rename our Freedom Fries) who really want to destroy heterosexual marriages by introducing rampant, organic, free range, tax-and-spend homosexuality!
Its TRUE.
Its all so gosh darn true.