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Hi, Satan here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m writing a blog today. The owner of the body I’m inhabiting for a few minutes today doesn’t even believe in me (he's an athiest) so he's ripe for me to take over to put down a few thoughts about the death of Dr. George Tiller, the abortion doctor gunned down in his own church.

To Dr. Tiller's killer:

Have you not read any Shakespeare? One of the things that eventually drives Hamlet and everyone else to ruin is that he realizes that once he is exposed the killer of his father is praying he can’t kill him right then, even though he had wrathful vengeance, because he would be forgiven for his sins as he died while in prayer. Good work moron, Dr. Tiller isn’t mine now – not that he ever was. But you are. Yeah, I recognize that you will be praying when you’re executed by the state. But vengeance wasn’t yours to exact in the first place. Only the big guy can do that – believe me, I know.

I read the end of the Book, he wins. He should – even I love the guy. But that’s a while off yet, and you’re going to be mine until then. Trust me, it’s going to give you a whole new perspective.

People like Randall Terry, Bill O’Reilly, Troy Newman, and the many others who gave up Dr. Tiller, they’re mine too. Pride, Sitting in judgment, and in O’Reilly’s case Sloth. These guys aren’t the ones who get to do that. I also get Rush Limbaugh, but that happened long before he became famous. Well, actually, there’s some cause and effect with that one.

There’s lots of good people I won’t be getting my hands on. George Clooney for one. I also lost out on getting Marilyn Monroe – the big guy is a pretty damned good poker player. Do you honestly think that any of these people want to spend eternity with the likes of Randall Terry? That would be hell for them – which is one of the reasons I’m getting them. Mr. Terry, you really haven’t had hot and crispy wings until you’ve had mine.

Of course, that could all change. Like Bill Clinton, the big guy believes in death-bed conversions. He’s also got a sense of humor. I know he plans to show up as a woman when O’Reilly kicks the bucket, just so he can see the look on his face – a trick he uses with suicide bombers all the time. With a little luck, I’ll be there too. Hey, I’m at war with him, but it’s civilized.

Anyway, to all of the good people out there, and there are plenty of you, don't worry about spending eternity with someone who kills believing he is following scripture. I made that happen. Those souls are mine.

Turning it back over to Animeraider:

Note: I imagine that there will be come people offended by this posting. I posted one less nice on my own site. The death of this Doctor is a tragedy - for his family, his friends, and for the community at large. We have all been lessened by this act of terrorism. I deal with tragedy with music and humor, and my brand of humor is dark. Today, it's dark enough to channel Satan.

To quote Robin Williams at Comic Releif III, "If these guys are going to heaven, then I don't want to go!"

And one final note. I only ever donate to 2 charities. I added Planned Parenthood as a third today. It's not enough, but it's where I plan to start.

Originally posted to Animeraider on Mon Jun 01, 2009 at 06:21 PM PDT.

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