I am trying to quit smoking. I want a cigarette so damn bad right now I'm climbing the walls.
Don't let me do it. I have gone downstairs to get in the car and then changed my mind so many times.
I don't want to smoke. It's bad for me, I hate it, but I literally am so addicted, I went to the trash today, and took out all the cig butts and stared at them. Smoked a couple of them.
You non-smokers I know can't believe people could ever fall that low, but trust me, you can.
I don't mean to use you guys as sort of an AA for smokers, but I just so don't want to fall back off the wagon. My next door neighbor used to keep what he called a "back up pack" for me, I took it and gave it away and took all the cigs out of the house. Now I'm regretting doing that. But I don't WANT to smoke. I wish I could break this addiction. I would go to the doctor and get drugs, but I saw what they did to my Mom when she took them. Those weird anti-depressant drugs have very strange side effects.
Although I'm sure it wouldn't be as bad for me as smoking.
Thanks for anybody that answers this. I'm really hurting right now. (And what a damn dumb thing to be hurting from, when I have read so many truly tragic diaries on Kos.)
Thanks again. Love, Rose.
Update: OMG I'm on the rec list!
Thank you all. I still want a cigarette really bad. Still haven't gone to get one. Thanks all.
Updated again:
I can't tell you how grateful I am for all the comments and your support. If I miss reccing any of them, (and I'll try not to) please know that I'm very grateful for every single one of them. You all really rock.
P.S. Still haven't gone out for cigs. I hope I never do again.