Are you fed up with the two-pary system? Are you sick and tired of having to decide between being a Droogie or a Lieber? Isn't this just Snark as usual?
I am here to stand up for all the little people who can't make the Recommended List, who rarely get Rescued Rangered and who lives in an anonymity that is usually reserved for Moderate Republicans.
You have heard Jeff and Droogie roast each other, but the truth is far more sinister than that. Below the fold I will reveal how the system is rigged against us and for those already in power. Follow me to the seamy underbelly of the Daily Kos....
If you are like me you are amazed at how quickly droogie and Jeff get their diaries placed on the Recommended List. You may rationalize it, thinking they are funny and smart and have relevant things to say and people like them. But NONE OF THIS TRUE. Nobody really likes them at all!
You spend a couple of hours writing a diary on the topic du jour. It is relevant, it is important, it is erudite, and you hit publish, ready with giddy expectation the meesage box informing you that your diary has been published and wait for the Recs to pour in. However, insetead of pouring in, they trickle in. You curse the people who Tip you but don't Rec you. You swear revenge on those people, writing their names down in a little, dog-eared notebook you keep with you for the sole purposes of keeping track of all those who have crossed you along the way. You symbolically cut out faces from magazines and place them on crayon drawn bodies with their names underneath which are then tossed into a fire as you and your dog discuss tactics. Their day is coming...oh yes it is...
We've all been there. Except for the chosen few: The Kossunatti, the secret cabal of mind-controlling elitists that not even Dan Brown is aware of.
You see while you are sweating over the "Diary that will alter the course of History", Jeff Lieber is (com)posting a diary he wrote while sipping margaritas at Hugh Hefner's place. And when he hits publish do you know what happens? A message box that says
DailyKos: Something Incredibly Witty I Came Up With Without Even Trying. This diary has now been published...directly to the Recommended List.
directly to the Recommended List!!!!!
It's a travesty, a sham, dare I say...a CONSPIRACY!!! And it isn't just Jeff or droogie...it is GrannyHelen, buddydharma, bonddad, A Siegel, WineRev, clammyc, jerome a paris and countless others have this capability! How do I know?? By applying Occam's Razor...that's how!!
It is the most logical reason my diaries don't make it and theirs do.
"But, gee, Gangster Octopus, that is actually the opposite of Occam's Razor. Isn't that a fairly convoluted expalanation? A far simpler solution would be that their diaries are interesting, informative, humorous, correctly spelled, usually with proper grammar, that the whole community seems to enjoy. Maybe your diaries generally suck?"
But, gee, shut up! That's what!
Oh yeah? Does this diary suck? Huh?
Listen, IOKIYAR, Mr. Obamabot, but it is trolls like you that make me sick. And what is it with the circular firing squad anyway?
Still don't believe me? Ask yourself these questions:
Have you EVER seen droogie's REAL birth certificate?
Has JeffLieber never not denied that he isn't a Muslim?
Have you ever seen droogie and Jeff in the same place, at the same time?
I am willing to risk banning for revealing this CONSPIRACY!!! Let me ask you...
Who's crazy now???
UPDATE: Don't think I am not onto you. Hey let's put GO on the Rec List and then that will "disprove" his "crazy" theories. My dog told me you guys would do this!