I spent my father's day at home with family. It was my second father's day as an actual father, and so I have one more holiday where I have to buy gifts as well as receive them.
Mrs. Droogie gave me a stack of photos, with messages written on the back "from" Droogie Jr. The first one was a favorite of mine, taken by me minutes after his birth. It's the very first time we ever touched. The message was, "Thanks for being there for me from the start."
I didn't cry when the boy was actually born, nor did I cry when Mrs. Droogie married me. I didn't even cry when my Mom tried to kill herself. But for some reason, when I read that message, it was instant waterworks.
We had a governor go missing that same weekend. Father's day weekend. I try not to judge other parents because I know how trying it can be, balancing job and marriage with family -- to say nothing of the time that every man (and woman) needs for themselves.
I guess if I have anything to add here it would be to point out that you don't have to run a state to feel overwhelmed and have the sudden urge to just take off and get away from all your stresses and responsibilities. Many of us have felt that way before.
Political conservatives, publicly at least, put a lot of emphasis on the value of personal reponsibility. They stress this point for men and fathers in particular.
I don't know why this governor did what he did. Because he and his people have told so many conflicting explanations for his odd behavior, the speculation will continue. But what it wasn't was responsible.
When people count on you, whether it's a state of 4.5 million people or just a spouse and a child, you have to live up to your end of things and be there for them.
This means getting up and going to work every day, but it's also the little stuff -- doing the humiliating and/or exhausting chores and errands that nobody else will or can do. It's more than just being physically present, but also emotionally available.
It wasn't until age 25 or so that I began to have a real, fulfilling relationship with my dad. I'm lucky things turned around. My wife didn't have her father anymore by 25 years of age, and I nearly lost my father (cancer) and my mother (suicide attempt) in the same year.
I don't blame him for it, but my dad wasn't around when I was growing up. And even when he was physically there, he wasn't mentally or emotionally there -- he was either still at work in his head or he was too tired and angry to connect.
I have promised to myself to always be there for my wife, the child we have now, and any future children we decide to have. If there comes a time when I won't or can't do this, then it's time for a change.
It's exhausting doing this! And there are times when you'd love for it all to just disappear so you could have just a moment's worth of time to yourself, to heal up, to think, to do nothing. But you stick with it if you're one of the good ones -- or at least aspire to be.
Why do you stick with it? Because when all of it, or at least most of it, works out well, your family can heal you. The way your son or daughter looks up at you (or at you, when they're grown), the way your spouse says your name, the way home feels at the end of the day -- it all just works.
I'll give an example. In the past year, I left behind the career in newspapering that I'd spent years studying for and building up to work in a different path that I'd never considered before and, to be honest, never really held any appeal for me. I did it because my family needed me to.
When I started this new path, more obstacles appeared. Worst of all, I found myself working for a supervisor who hated everything in his life -- including me. Yet somehow, I was able to negotiate a transfer and improve my at-work situation. I was able to do this because my family backed me up for every step.
Like I said, sometimes it just works.
These thoughts are connected to each other rather flimsily, I know. Consider it a belated father's day diary if you must. I just got to thinking about fatherhood, personal responsibility and our duties to the ones we love.
So I guess I can't say a Republican never made me think about these things.
As Jerry Springer used to say, be good to yourselves and each other!