In a quick and decisive move to counter both John Ensign's and Mark Sanford's public's admission of infidelity, House GOP Leader John Boehner has introduced legislation dubbed 5(DOMA).
On the House of Representatives floor this afternoon, Rep. Eric Cantor from Virginia remarked, "As both a Christian and a conservative, I understand that both of these family values have their limits. Therefore, I come out in full support of a five month limit to any one's defense of marriage. If you can't get your heart right in five (5) months, then just maybe... the marriage isn't worth the effort."
The introduction of the legislation sparked some outrage among more conservative members of the Republican caucus. Rep. Mike Pence (R-IN) suggested that extra months should be added for children - "probably one month per kid, but at the very least two weeks."
Michael Steele, Chair of the Republican National Committee, added that he had no substantive disagreements with the legislation, but that he would have to review it more closely in the coming weeks. "Hopefully, I will get a copy of it soon... they never send me anything and I never get invited to any of the parties."