A friend of mine smuggled out a transcript from an emergency meeting over at CNN over the weekend. He asked me to share (below), as an insight into the struggles of establishment journalists to be taken seriously anymore.
[Setting: Conference room off the CNN Newsroom]
Managing Editor: First I’d like to thank you all for coming together this early on a Sunday to help map out our coverage strategy on the big healthcare story.
I think everyone here recognizes that this is likely to be not only the most important story of the summer, but maybe of the next four years. We will be tasked to provide hundreds of hours of high-quality stories over the coming months, elucidating the important facts of a complicated debate.
And an important debate. Lets be clear here: I believe history will not only record the momentous events we're recording and commenting on - but also the way that we, as journalists, covered them. And the way we cover this story - I don’t need to remind you - has bearing on the very fate of our industry.
[Solemn nods from everyone around the table.]
Managing Editor: OK then. What angles do you want to propose?
Veteran correspondent: Well, there’s the issue of physician choice...
Managing Editor: Good... that’s good. What else?
Rookie Correspondent: We should probably revisit coverage of particular medical procedures...
Managing Editor: Good... good...
Former Weatherman: Outcomes is the big story. We should really understand...
Managing Editor: Agreed! This is a good grab-bag to start with. Let’s start with physician choice. How did Jackson pick his personal physician, anyway?
Veteran Correspondent: They met through some mutual friend, I think.
Managing Editor: Do we have anyone investigating exactly how they met, and how long he’s been treating Jackson?
News Producer: Well, things are pretty tight, what with all the budget cuts.
Managing Editor: Well, what are your guys working on?
News Producer: Up until the middle of last week I was mainly covering the emerging healthcare reform debate, so my guys are all working on that.
Managing Editor: What’s Thompson doing?
News Producer: Last week we ran that piece on the public option and mentioned that the government already reimburses approximately half of all healthcare spending.
We got an irate call from the Heritage guys that this couldn’t possibly be true, so we’ve been putting together a retraction and I’ve had Thompson scrambling to find a citation somewhere.
Managing Editor: That can wait – the whole healthcare debate will drag on forever, and nobody really cares anyway [chuckle]. Put Thompson on profiling the physician. Put Chen on pulling together footage on the evolution of Jackson’s visage over time across surgical procedures, and get Lowry on finding out more about the exact sequence of events that lead to death.
News Producer: Done, done, and done!
Managing Editor: What other story ideas do we have?
Veteran Correspondent: Well, there are the famous people whose lives Jackson touched. For instance, Jackson practically made Al Yankovic – we could do a retrospective of the parodies and the source material and maybe stretch it out to 6-8 minutes with lots of video footage. Also, people may not remember that Scorcese directed the "Bad" video – easily the most unwatchable thing he ever made, by the way – we could maybe work an angle of how Jackson inspired the story for The Aviator, or maybe The Departed...
Managing Editor: Good! I like it...
Rookie Correspondent: I’ve been making good progress on the Bubbles biopic – I’m thinking maybe there’s even enough there for a 30-minute special...
[Door opens suddenly]
Receptionist: Boss, New York is on the line – they want to hear details of the Jacko-Fatality-Frenzy strategy.
Managing Editor: Damn it! I told them I’d call them at 4:30!
Receptionist: It’s the big chief himself, sir... He wants to hear the JackoFF strategy ASAP...
Managing Editor: OK, OK. Tell him I’ll call him back in five minutes. Let me put some notes together...
[Fade to black on scene.]
[Fade to black on television journalism.]