This is a continuation of a journal I started here. It's a personal diary about the final passages in life for a parent.
As I mentioned in a my previous diary, my mother went into facility. I wanted to share the details though, because there is something very important that I left out that I think everyone in these situations faces.
Her diagnosis is multiple myeloma and a stress fracture in her spine. The fracture is causing her tremendous pain.
My mother was admitted to the hospital for 4 days, while they were treating her back pain. At the same time, she was taking her oral chemotherapy. She had very bad reactions to the steroids they gave her. She called me at 5 am one morning she was there and thought she was in a different town. She also thought the nurses had poisoned her water. They found her wandering the halls.
One of the most frustrating things I found during this time is that I could not get a prognosis from the admitting doctor. I think this is because they needed to get her 4 nights in the hospital so she could go to rehab and have it be paid for by Medicare. At first I thought this was just a game played to 'get someone to pay'. I guess I did not appreciate how important this actually was.
After the 4th night, my mother begged me to take her out of the hospital. She did not want to go to rehab. She told the admitting doctor that I would be providing for her. I did not object. I should have.
I got her home on Saturday. I gave her all her medications. I made us stir fried beef with snowpeas. I vacuumed, did the dishes, and cleaned up after 3 cats.
On Sunday, my mom had more pain, had a panic attack. I took her to the ER. My pressure gauge went into the red.
On Monday, the same thing happened. I broke down again. I lost it. Luckily this time we went to a different hospital, because there I met a social worker who actually gave a damn about this situation. I explained to her that I really could not do it anymore. She saw it. She knew it was too much. I guess I couldn't admit it to myself until today.
The social worker suggested I leave the ER and let them call me. I did that. They were able to convince my mother to go to a rehabilitation facility. She is now there until her doctor says otherwise. I went to visit her this afternoon as they admitted her there. I brought her some clothes. The place looks a bit shabby, but the staff seems to be good.
I was able to find someone close to my mom to foster the cats. This week I will work on putting the house into standby mode. My mother expressed she does not want to do anymore chemotherapy. I am at peace with that. I don't know if she'll ever get out of the facility she is in now, but I do know that I know more about what I can and can't do.
Today I let go some. My thanks goes to the social worker, and to all of you, your thoughts, and prayers. I'll keep writing as things develop, and please keep sharing your stories too.