(Diarist's note: Satire.)
WASHINGTON — In a stunning move today, flanked by Sens. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., John Ensign, R-Nev., and Susan Collins, R-Me., now-former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who represents Nevada, announced he would switch his party affiliation from Democratic to Republican.
"The defection of Sen. Specter to the left side of the aisle earlier this year confirmed to me that the Senate is a body where bipartisanship trumps all," Reid said. "Furthermore, the addition of a 60th Democrat-caucusing senator in the United States Senate, which many people will take to mean a filibuster-proof majority, sends a bad signal to Americans that the Senate will be about majority rule and not extended debate and concessions from the party with the most power to the minority party."
"Finally, my recent endorsement by 50 top Nevada Republican officials only furthered bipartisan thoughts in my mind. Therefore, I have decided to leave the Democrat Party and join the Republicans as the senior senator from the great state of Nevada."
Following Reid's announcement, McConnell read a statement prepared by the Senate Republicans, which read in part, "We are pleased today to welcome the newest Republican senator, Harry Reid. We look forward to working with him on issues that affect American families and values and trust he will be a strong voice from this day on protecting Americans' financial and national security. We also call today on all members of the Democrat Party, such as Senator-elect Al Franken, to consider joining Sen. Reid in this clear show of what bipartisanship is all about: working with the other side of the aisle."
Reid's defection to the GOP leaves the Senate with 57 Democrats and two independents.
Democratic strategists were furious with the move, with one anonymous aide saying "None of this surprises me. Reid's been working for the other side for the last two years. The only thing this changes is what letter goes to the right of his name. Anyone who thought Harry Reid was a strong Democratic presence in the Senate these last two years was oblivious to the facts."
The move will mean a third Senate majority leader since 2007, when Reid replaced former Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tenn. It also sets up a potential fight among the Democratic Party to replace Reid. Sens. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., and Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., Senate majority whip and Senate Democratic Caucus vice chairman, respectively, are the two frontrunners, and party insiders and political strategists expect one of them to take the mantle from Reid.
"Durbin has seniority, so going by that, he'll be the new leader," said another Senate aide on condition of anonymity. "But if Schumer wants the job, there's absolutely no doubt he'll get it. Democrats across the country and in Washington got tired of seeing Harry Reid cave on a daily basis to a minority that was increasingly minor. Under Schumer's leadership, we predict the Republicans won't filibuster a damn thing. But under Durbin, they probably won't either. Really, this is good news for Democrats."
A statement issued by the White House said the president "regrets but understands that Senator Reid feels it is best for all concerned if he changes his party affiliation. President Obama, Vice President Biden and all Cabinet officials remain dedicated to working with Senator Reid to pursue America's agenda of reform in the arenas of health care, energy, automobiles, commerce, travel and others."
A senior aide to Reid referred all questions about his new party affiliation to the senator's statement.
"Several other factors also played a role in my decision," Reid said. "The elections of 2000 and 2004 showed me that my state was becoming increasingly Republican. And just as my friend Sen. Specter changed sides when Pennsylvania became a more Democrat-friendly state, so must I also recognize the winds of change back home."
In a brief question-and-answer period, Reid lamented that the remaining members of his former caucus had declined to allow him to maintain his position as Senate majority leader.
"Really, right now, Americans are looking for bipartisan leadership, and I think it shows how beholden to party affiliation the Democrat Party is that I wasn't allowed to become a Republican and still be majority leader. ... even though I am no longer a Democrat, yes."
Reid said a deal he had worked out with the Republicans would allow him his pick of nonranking seats on the Senate education, finance and public works committees. "I had a general purview over all of the committees as Senate majority leader," Reid said, "but because of the volume of work we had in figuring out how we could best accommodate the Republican Party, I was not actually a member of any of them. So now I will be getting back to more of the nuts and bolts of the legislative process."
Sen. Joe Lieberman, I-Conn., released a statement condemning the move as "craven and shameless politics."
"Senator Reid was a Democrat when times were good, and now that the Republicans in his home state have given him their support, he believes the times will be good for Republicans in his state but not for Democrats. His switching parties represents craven and shameless politics that should not inure Republicans or Nevadans to his obvious ploy," the statement read in part.
Lieberman earned the ire of many Democrats in 2006 when he lost his party primary and ran for the Senate as an independent. He is now registered as an Independent Democrat and caucuses with the party. A December vote on expelling him from the party ended favorably for him.
When asked if he thought Reid should be punished by his former party for his defection, Lieberman said, "After the way the Daily Kos community destroyed me following my actions during the presidential primary, I sure as hell hope they fillet Reid."