I know, here we go with the regional bitchfest. *Deal with it.
I like my little neighborhood 'cause it's peaceful....most of the time. Deer and turkeys and various other critters wander through my unmowed, natural prarie kind of a yard....if nobody scares them away.
And the birds. I have microphones on my deck so even when I'm inside I can hear the birdsong at the feeder and splashing in the bath I built for them, or the wind in the trees, or rain or sleet falling....well, most of the time.
And it's inexpensive to live here.....at least it was.
Lots of small local businesses to barter with, and Amish farmers to buy actual farm-raised, free-range chickens, veggies, eggs, honey, and bakery from....yum!
But my natural wonderland neighborhood has a recurring infection, migrating in weekly (weekendly, actually) in the summer, thankfully less often during the tougher weather, for the debauchery-fest. Will the visitors take advantage of designated "rustic roads" for a bike ride? Fish in any of dozens of clean, clear lakes? Swim? Hike? Catch butterflies or lightning bugs? Build a tree house? Browse local businesses (other than the liquor store)? Snooze in the sunshine?
No! No way! That no-fun shit's for the yokels who actually LIVE HERE. After we clog up your highways northbound on Friday, southbound on Sunday, we just want to ride our dirt bikes and four-wheelers back and forth past your home all day. Can't get enough of motoring with no sensory contact with the natural world. And drinking. And cranking the boom box up. Drink more. Firecrackers all day. More at night. Accompanied by more blaring music. We need to vent our obsessive compulsive disorders HERE, by YOUR home, where we drive for hours every weekend just to get to because we would never get away with this back home. OUR NEIGHBORS WOULD COMPLAIN!
If we do decide to go to a lake, you're gonna LOVE the new 100 horsepower outboard we'll run circles around your puny fishing boat with. What's that? An electric motor? OARS? HA! HA! Look at the poor locals, honey. Aren't they quaint?
Oh, and BTW, we just bough another lot nearby, for 20% over asking price, 'cause we come from a "socially advantaged" area much unlike your backwoods dump, and money is not a concern for us. We have LOTS of it, do what we like with it, and LOVE driving up property values here, so YOU can't afford to own any more of your neighborhood. Do you realize how much gas we burn every week just to come here and torture you?
Sorry, but it's just so much fun showing off in front of you hicks.
And did you say "build a treehouse"? Please. We can have another guest house put up FOR us before we get back next weekend. What the hell would we want a damned treehouse for? Stupid idea. You people are really weird.
Oh, BTW, your property taxes are going up because you happen to live where we like to play.
Funny how I prefer heavy storms and bone-chilling winter weather to holiday weekends. Keeps the pests away.
My nearest neighbors are part-timers from the flatlands to the south, and exemplary neighbors. They freely admit that the trends I have mentioned here are based on reality. And let me state this clearly, trends should not be taken as universal truths.
But thanks for letting me vent.