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I live in an undisclosed-for-security-purposes state which has lots of cheese and has seen the best and the worst of politicians, a.k.a. Illinois' biggest state park.

I know, here we go with the regional bitchfest. *Deal with it.

I like my little neighborhood 'cause it's peaceful....most of the time. Deer and turkeys and various other critters wander through my unmowed, natural prarie kind of a yard....if nobody scares them away.

And the birds. I have microphones on my deck so even when I'm inside I can hear the birdsong at the feeder and splashing in the bath I built for them, or the wind in the trees, or rain or sleet falling....well, most of the time.

And it's inexpensive to live here.....at least it was.

Lots of small local businesses to barter with, and Amish farmers to buy actual farm-raised, free-range chickens, veggies, eggs, honey, and bakery from....yum!

But my natural wonderland neighborhood has a recurring infection, migrating in weekly (weekendly, actually) in the summer, thankfully less often during the tougher weather, for the debauchery-fest. Will the visitors take advantage of designated "rustic roads" for a bike ride? Fish in any of dozens of clean, clear lakes? Swim? Hike? Catch butterflies or lightning bugs? Build a tree house? Browse local businesses (other than the liquor store)? Snooze in the sunshine?

No! No way! That no-fun shit's for the yokels who actually LIVE HERE. After we clog up your highways northbound on Friday, southbound on Sunday, we just want to ride our dirt bikes and four-wheelers back and forth past your home all day. Can't get enough of motoring with no sensory contact with the natural world. And drinking. And cranking the boom box up. Drink more. Firecrackers all day. More at night. Accompanied by more blaring music. We need to vent our obsessive compulsive disorders HERE, by YOUR home, where we drive for hours every weekend just to get to because we would never get away with this back home. OUR NEIGHBORS WOULD COMPLAIN!

If we do decide to go to a lake, you're gonna LOVE the new 100 horsepower outboard we'll run circles around your puny fishing boat with. What's that? An electric motor? OARS? HA! HA! Look at the poor locals, honey. Aren't they quaint?

Oh, and BTW, we just bough another lot nearby, for 20% over asking price, 'cause we come from a "socially advantaged" area much unlike your backwoods dump, and money is not a concern for us. We have LOTS of it, do what we like with it, and LOVE driving up property values here, so YOU can't afford to own any more of your neighborhood. Do you realize how much gas we burn every week just to come here and torture you?

Sorry, but it's just so much fun showing off in front of you hicks.

And did you say "build a treehouse"? Please. We can have another guest house put up FOR us before we get back next weekend. What the hell would we want a damned treehouse for? Stupid idea. You people are really weird.

Oh, BTW, your property taxes are going up because you happen to live where we like to play.

Funny how I prefer heavy storms and bone-chilling winter weather to holiday weekends. Keeps the pests away.

*Disclaimer:
My nearest neighbors are part-timers from the flatlands to the south, and exemplary neighbors. They freely admit that the trends I have mentioned here are based on reality. And let me state this clearly, trends should not be taken as universal truths.

But thanks for letting me vent.

Originally posted to jorogo on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 01:35 PM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    alliedoc, commonmass, SusanL143

    "All war is stupid" - JFK

    by jorogo on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 01:35:23 PM PDT

    •  When I lived in Wisconsin, I was always offended (0+ / 0-)

      by the locals dislike of Illinois (where I was born).  I figure that if you want tourism, and Wisconsin depends on it, you should treat your guests courteously.  Why the disdain?  OK.  I know.  The welfare laws and immigrants.  But, again, if you need the tourism, STFU.

      •  Personally, (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        alliedoc

        I DON'T need it.

        And it might be a bit more practical if the costs involved in providing services to visitors was in balance.

        Passing through Wisconsin is entirely toll-free. Not so in Illinois.

        Boat registration paid in Illinois is valid in Wisconsin; We pay to support lakes and fishing, visitors from down south don't.

        Let the bitchfest continue unabated, thanks for contributing!

        And, may I ask, why FORMERLY from Wisconsin. Did something here bother you?

        "All war is stupid" - JFK

        by jorogo on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 01:47:34 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Yes, my point was the welfare laws are easier in (0+ / 0-)

          Wisc, or so I heard.

          Yes, something bothered me ... I was a postdoc and I got a job in Pennsylvania.  Actually, I missed it for a while (Madison) but I honestly have some problems with the environment there.  Well, it was sort of aggressively itself.  Hard to describe but the people there are rather condescending.  I much prefer PA, although that is probably hard to believe.  I feel that it is more accepting of alternate lifestyles ... the Madison scene was you're liberal or a loser.  Although my husband and I were certainly liberal, we always eschewed that Madison Madison thing.

          Oh, and the mosquitoes.  There are none here.

          If I moved back to Wisconsin, I would not pick Madison.  I would pick a more rural area.

          •  I have no idea on what welfare laws are here. (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            alliedoc

            But I am sorry to hear you were bothered by your being a postdoc, whatever that may be, (must be very cultish lingo as google doesn't yield any direct definitive references (I like to sometimes embrace my ignorance(formally educated only through trade school), or others' presumptuousness, as may be the case)) and your getting a job in Pennsylvania.

            I'm actually originally from Pennsylvania, and have relatives there. Very nice, friendly, and beautiful. It's easy for me to believe you find it preferable there.

            I thought the "liberal" lifestyle was widely considered the "alternative" one, but I am glad to hear that it might be the other way 'round.

            Mosquitos are rare at my location, Leopold's "Sand County", though the recent persistent rains have made an exception to this season.

            The rural scene in Wisconsin is certainly more challenging for liberals like us, and if you're like me, that challenge certainly makes life more exhilarating.

            "All war is stupid" - JFK

            by jorogo on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 09:09:31 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  Must be very cultish lingo? The first hit (0+ / 0-)

              is good old wikipedia.

              Sorry if I lapsed into terminology you aren't familiar with.  Oops.  What with all the internet specific abbreviations.  

              For postdoctoral research.

  •  Can I get a recommendation (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    alliedoc

    for a little peace and quiet now?

    "All war is stupid" - JFK

    by jorogo on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 01:36:32 PM PDT

  •  I live in a tourist trap (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jorogo

    I live in a tourist trap--Concord, Massachusetts. It's a fine town in many ways, but especially around Independence Day it's insufferable. I stayed at home and enjoyed the first sunny day in about a month.

    I have a little summer place, however, in Maine, where I happen to be right now. Maine is in many ways the Wisconsin of New England. While I am always a visitor here, my family and I are also taxpayers and have owned property here since the early 50's. We're still "from away" as they say here, but we're not tourists. In some funky way, we belong here.

    Not so many tourists. Thoughtless first-time day-tripping kayakers block passage in a working harbor and speedboaters refuse to adhere to state boating laws when passing smaller boats--their enormous wakes create danger of capsize of smaller crafts and on occasion cause near collisions. Larger crafts monopolize public docks reserved for boats 16 feet and under and parking is impossible. Worse, moneyed interests "from away" buy up everything they can find and drive property taxes through the roof.

    I sympathize with my fellow Kossack in Wisconsin. Everyone has a right to be a tourist in this beautiful country and if I lived in Wisconsin--a state I have visited, respectfully I might add--I would be proud of the tourism. However, tourists and summer people (like myself) must always be respectful of local customs and try to be good stewards not only to the land but also to the interests of the locals who live year round in breathtakingly beautiful places like Wisconsin, Maine, or for that matter, Concord, Massachusetts.

    "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American people"--H.L.Mencken

    by commonmass on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 06:02:44 PM PDT

    •  You comment is more dear to me, (0+ / 0-)

      than you can imagine.

      There are jerks in Wisconsin, FROM Wisconsin. But there's something liberating (and I apologize for using that word in this context) about being away from "home". And "home" in this context, to many, is the dreary existence of everyday tedium.

      What that "liberation" does, is to unleash the inner repressed psyche in us. If that is a kind psyche, we most likely have not been motivated to achieve the powerful standing that wealth brings.

      But if that inner psyche is greedy, very base instincts of aggression are "liberated" by the away-from-home, free-of-normal-social-controls experience.

      Unfortunately, from the tourism aspect, the greedy among us have far greater resources to travel great distances, or regular distances, to achieve the "liberation" the greedy psyches demand.

      Then, the clash of psyches occurs.

      "All war is stupid" - JFK

      by jorogo on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 08:10:11 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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