So like many people recently I lost my job today. And I'm not happy about it. However I'm not as sad as I should be. I should be crying my eyes out and everyone seems to expect it from me. But while I've shed a few tears the people I work with have been more upset than me so far. Many of them seem to think I'll have a delayed reaction. What I can't tell those people is that more than one of my colleagues has been a little jealous. Because while today I was the victim of the results of Republican policies, my company been feeling it for quite some time.
I used to like my job. Actually I loved my job. I choose my career because I thought I had the aptitude and because it promised challenging a varied work. I choose my company because of the people. On both accounts I choose well. For various reasons I became dissatisfied with my work and to what extent that was my fault I don't know. I know why I feel out of love with my company though. The downturn took all the happy people I knew who felt lucky to be working in such a great place and made us constantly fearful for our jobs and paranoid. The first round of layoffs didn't help because while it eased the immediate fear about being let go it forced us to say goodbye to people we truly liked. Since then the company has made a number of policy decisions in response to the bad economy which have resulted in people becoming more stressed and disillusioned.
So while I lost my job (and my very lovely paycheck today) its felt like I lost the job I signed up for quite awhile ago. The end of this week will be my last day at the first job I truly liked and I haven't really cried yet. All those tears have been eaten up in months of stress and discontentment. So now I sit here dry-eyed and somewhat relieved even though the future is so uncertain.