MINNEAPOLIS - An advocacy group for a small but vocal minority is challenging a major piece of legislation recently introduced by a powerful U.S. Senator.
Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS), who last year mounted a brief failed bid for the presidency, has introduced the Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009, designed to prevent the laboratory creation of half-human, half-animal organisms.
But representatives of National Advocates for Lizard People (NALP) say that Brownback's proposed legislation could have dangerous consequences for their small but emerging community.
"Lizard People have been counting on new advancements in human-lizard hybrid research, in hopes of curing maladies unique to our species," said NALP spokeslizardperson Rick Monitor. "While the incidences of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes in our population is comparable to that in human-only populations, we face some medical issues not generally treated in the human-only-centric medical community. Tail breakage and egg binding, for example."
Monitor went on to state that this is just the latest in several example of discrimination against Lizard People in recent memory.
In November of 2008, lizard people received significant attention when an anonymous Minnesota voter cast write-in votes for "Lizard People" in several races. "The media treated it as a big joke. But we believe that it was likely an expression of pride by a young lizard person, perhaps voting for the first time," Monitor said.
"We thought that the miniseries V, in which Lizard People were portrayed as bloodthirsty aliens, was the worst that could happen. But Brownback's bill is potentially far more damaging."
Monitor made a point of elaborating on the difficulties faced by lizard people in their day-to-day lives.
"Imagine having to shop at a bait shop for crickets to feed your family," he said, visibly moved. "And imagine if your child is sick. Do you know how difficult it is to treat a fever in a child that thermoregulates?"
Asked if he had any message for Sen. Brownback, Monitor was succinct.
"We're people, Senator, just like you. Except that we're also lizards."