Please, please, just for six months.
Give me a chance to put a little away, to get caught up on my rent.
I think the Good Great GoldiSachs would be ever so nice and take care of you in the meantime....
Don't you think Chase could handle it? BofA? Wachovia, AIG, Kaiser Permanente, Geico, Cox Communications, ATT....
If my bills could be forgiven for just six months, I would be fine. I would be able to put money in the bank, which all eventually goes back to you anyways!!
I plead with you, the Masters of the Universe and of my perpetually miserable financial situation. I'm the one that pays you, Oh Holy Chase, 32.99% APR. Geico? I'm the one that has had insurance with you for ten years and not a claim. Wachovia, I leased my Chrysler for four years, paying over $25,000, yet not owning the car. Now I owe you $6,000 so I can own it. If I miss one payment, I could still lose the car. After paying almost $30,000 for it already.
Student Loan Demons? I have already paid back my principal to you. However, somehow I still owe you over $60,000. How the hell does that happen???
On behalf of all of us down here in that upside-down place called Reality Check, I ask you, Oh Large and Powerful Fiscal Father, to forgive us our bills as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead you not into temptation, lest we deliver you to the lowliest depths that hell could offer if it truly existed.
Help us out here. GoldiSachs, you just had a DAMN GOOD BOWL of porridge this past quarter. Try sharing - it's good for you. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.