...and clothe themselves in graphs.
Let them pay for their houses with tabulations, and provide for their children with data points.
If they doubt, show them the X and Y axes, and then remind them they are mere variables.
Show them the wonders of linears and quadratics, soothe them with mean values, point out their place in normal distribution, and inform them their pain is merely inferential, their correlations imaginary.
And if they still refuse to agree that it's all getting better...
...well, then let them eat pie charts.