WICHITA - After years of running the Republican Party under her rallying cry of neoclassical economics, the Wicked Witch of the East died after a recession of mud caused a house to fall on her today in Liberal, Kansas.
Reports from the scene of the incident say that she was wearing slippers that had ridiculously simple bar graphs on them. When asked about his party's future, the local Kansas Republican Party stooge Douchebach said "it looks like we will have to depend even more on her crazy sister to the west of here. Her flying monkeys with handguns that continuously shout something about Hawaii birth certificates have always been our biggest donors. It will be difficult though without the Wicked Witch of East who always knew how to keep the Keynesian Wizard of common sense quiet."
Locals say that moderate republicans were still trying to give resuscitation to the victim even though rigor mortis had set in.
UPDATE: The Wicked Witch of the East's identity continues to remain a mystery, yet her sister, the Wicked Witch of the West, is less mysterious with her friendly winking after which she is known to take the form of a bulldog with a fresh application of lipstick.