So, I'm buzzing down to the library earlier on the rather superfluous task of telling them my intra-library loan got mixed up and the volume they had e-mailed me about was not the one I'd requested; but I'm not too irritated cause I need to get my laid off ass out of the hut anyway... so I'm toolin' down Lone Pine in the Saturn Coupe thinking about whether I want a vanilla or chocolate two scoop at the frozen yogurt place and flip on the radio to see what Sean Hannityjob's kvetching about....and fatboy's all weepy and waxing indignant and shit cause someone out there - apparently beyond the sound of his mellifluous murmurings - had rented some air and called him and his whack job peeps "angy mobs".
Well, I got to tell 'ya he had me crying great big ole googly teardrops, near to forget my errands...
...as well as my brain freezin'treat.... his poor little fascistas being called names by those mean ole libruls with their fancy vocabularies and twenty seven hour news cycles...down right tragical it was, yes sir, and it got me to thinkin' what else might we call a worry of wing-nuts that would be more descriptive and less hurtful to their widdle feelins?
My first thought, shamed as I am to tell 'ya was "clusterfuck".... as in "A Clusterfuck of Concerned Conservatives Gathered to Mouth Nonsense and Pull Down the Collective IQ of the Town-hall Meeting in Podunk This Morning" ... sure as hell seems to fit my first criteria of being more descriptive, but kinda blows the bottom out of my second and more noble aim of bein' sensitive to their little stunted self worthies....
Thinking back to my Navy days and, if I'm not mistaken, Jack London, I thought maybe a "screech of gulls" which would be apt in terms of their varied modulations and tonalities but unfair to the nasty birds.
At this point I'm pulling in to the library and my head is hurting from thinking way too hard on this stupid shit, so I ransack about until I find a children's book on animal groupings to more leisurely ponder possibilities.
A "deceit" of "lapwings" sounds promising except I got no earthly idea what a lapwing is and it might be a halfway decent critter, so that's out.
mmmm... a "plague" of "rats" now that's rates high in terms of colorin' inside the lines but hittin' so close to home would leave us open to more charges of brutishness and splashed across a 6 o'clock headline might sound a little medieval; peeps got enough on their plate worryin' about the H1-N1...
Same with "droves of pigs" or "passels of hogs".
Now, a "chine" of polecats might work..."Angry Chines Shout Down Milquetoast Demo in Muncie." 'Cept nobody'd know what the hell you were talking about and the skunks would be up in arms...
I kinda like a "rhumba of rattlesnakes". "Let's git ready to Rhumba, Repubs!!!"
But, finally, jonesing for my dairy fix, I settle on "a prickle of porcupines" being rather fond of the root of the collective term of address as pertains to our friends the GOP and mindful of Wilson Mizner's apt description of the woodsy wonder -
"Working for Warner Brothers was like fucking a porcupine... it's a hundred pricks against one."
Sorry, 'thuglicans, it's either that or "mobs".
X-Posted at MyLeftWing