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(I don't know if this type of post is allowed, so I will try it once. Hope you get a laugh from these jokes.)

You know you're a Teabagger when

*Your dog rides in your truck, but your wife stays home and mixes ammonium nitrate.
*You can remember the fertilizer, pellets and ammonium nitrate mixture ratios, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
*You have stolen gravel from the county road to cover your AK -47 ground stash.
*You shout down someone who is talking, because you believe they are trying to limit your freedom of speech.
*You've used the same knife to whittle a shiv, and threaten your Congressman.  
*You have been asked to leave a yard sale.
*You put the beatdown on your tattoo artist for spelling "MOM" backwards.
*You hate government health care, and don't want them to touch your Medicare.
*The Rush Limbaugh show ended and you cried like John Boehner.  

Teabagger's LeaderQuestions:

*What is the smallest limb diameter that will support hanging your Congressman in effigy?
*How many car radiators are necessary to condense 200 gallons of moonshine?
*How long will it take your nine children to build a bomb shelter?
*Going 60 miles an hour, for 12 hours, from your house, how long will it take you to get to Graceland?
*If a man and woman get married in Texas and move to Washington D. C., are they still first cousins?
*If your canon fuse is 15 ft. long, and it burns at 1 inch per second, how long does it take to reach the payload?

Teabagger's Computer Vocabulary:

*Backup - What you do when you run across a liberal in the woods.  
*Bug – What you do to your Congressman at a town hall meeting.  
*Byte - What your pit-bull did to your Barack Obama doll.
*Chip – The smart son who can load a magazine in 32 seconds.  
*Terminal – Socialist Amtrak station.  
*Crash - When you go to a Starbucks Coffee by mistake.  
*Digital - Counting to nine on your fingers.
*Fax – Rush Limbaugh’s opinion.  
*Hacker – Your wife after 26 years of smoking.
*Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
*Internet - Where you put your hair at work.
*Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the Hummer.
*Mac – Your favorite restaurant.
*Megahertz - How your head feels after listening to "Barry".  
*Modem - What you do to liberals who want socialist health care.  
*Mousepad– Nancy Pelosi’s office
*Network – Fox News.
*PC – Losing your freedom of hate speech.
*ROM - Where the pope lives.
*Screen – Camouflaged netting to hide ammo stash.  
*Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
*Superconductor – Glenn Beck, but Lou Dobbs is getting better every day.  
*SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – Your first cousin after sex.
*WYSIWYG – 5.5  inches.

Originally posted to Mean Mr Mustard on Thu Aug 06, 2009 at 10:03 AM PDT.

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