Dear Mr President,
I'm writing you because I think you're wasting time on this Health Care/Insurance Reform push. Real Americans don't want to be coddled. Real Americans pull themselves up by their bootstraps; and if they have an injury that prevents them from pulling themselves up, they have no one to blame but themselves.
I know, because I read it in an Ayn Rand book once. The Medical Insurance Industrial Complex must have a right to refusal, in fact, being the Randian moralist that I am, I will preempt any refusal by an insurance company by denying myself any medical help. All of my conditions are pre-existing; they are all my fault and I don't deserve health care.
One might hold, Mr President, that simply being born makes all of our conditions "pre-existing," and they would be correct. But I would maintain that personal responsibility is a purer gauge of a citizen than simply being born. My Randian mates made sure I understood that at an early age.
It was my choice to don my Superman cape at the age of four and "fly" into the doorframe of our house; took six stitches for that one. It was my choice to play high school football where I sustained a half dozen concussions, four knee surgeries and a shoulder reconstruction; I mean, my coaches always yelled that we had to give our body to the team, playing hurt is what makes me a Real American.
It was my choice to work for a major oil company and was gassed by H2S; occupational hazard, you know.
It was all my choice, Mr President and therefore, all my fault.
I don't deserve health care, Mr President. One of my friends is a Randian and an insurance actuary. He says that the risk is too great for insurance to cover me and I agree. Empathy is putting oneself in another's shoes. It's important for the little guy to put themselves in the Medical Insurance Industrial Complex's shoes; then he would know how difficult it is to provide a service and still make a profit.
I've done that, Mr President. It would be wrong for me to seek health care; and since it's wrong for me, and being a Real American and a Randian; it's wrong for anyone else, as well.
Stop this push for Health Care Reform, Mr President. Real Americans just rub some mud on the cut and keep working.
Only pansies and fair-weather boys want health care.
Yours truly,
Randy Rand Doorunrun
© 2009 by Justice Putnam
and Mechanisches-Strophe Verlagswesen