New York, August 12. CNN Commentator Lou "Lulu" Dobbs (click here) edged out Rush "I Hope He Dies" Limbaugh, Bill "Bubbles" O'Reilly and Glenn "Pornman" Beck in the competion for the coveted and prestigous "Father Coughlin" award. The award, sponsored by the KKK, the Aryan Nations, and others is given to the broadcast personality who "embodies the malignant spirit of Father Caughlin, the personality who uses hate speech to incite violence, obfuscate the real issues, hijack the debate, and fire up the base."
In explaining their decision Derrick William "Billy Bob" Roberts and Karl "The Roverer" Rove said, "We like Limbaugh, we like his stuff. It's good. Catchy. While he has a dedicated following, most of his listeners can't read and don't vote. Limbaugh is an overweight drug-addict, not that there's anything wrong with that, but he's tired and a has-been."
"O'Reilly's toast," Rove and Roberts told me. "They took away his show. When he went on Colbert, That was it. He lost all credibility. Then Colbert looked him in the eye and said 'If you're an entertainer, what am I?' All our people had their left-wing wacko cousin - the kind that blogs on Daily Kos - call up and say 'See!' "
"Beck had potential," they continued, "but Fox News is marginal. With Obama in the White House and Democrats in the House and Senate, we are trying to shore up the support, but he is too new, too green. He doesn't make sense, which isn't a problem, but people don't watch Fox News ."
"The problem with Limbaugh and Beck is that they are no longer firing up the base. People have moved on. They're out of work, they got no health care. They can't afford gas for their SUV's, they are beginning to realize we can't drill our way out of this, so they ain't listening anymore. They moved on. Worse, we are actually seeing Beck and Limbaugh energizing the Liberals - the Olberman - Maddow - Stewart - Colbert - SNL audience. That's growing. When they report the stupid things Limbaugh, O'Reilly, and Beck say
"But Dobbs, he's different. He's on CNN. That's a different audience than Fox. More educated. Liberal. Sympathetic to the Palestinians. Likely to believe all that crap about global warming." People think CNN is a real news organization. They don't see Dobbs as a plant."
The Father Caughlin award is co-sponsored by CNN, Time, which owns CNN, the companies whos executives sit on the Boards of Time and Fox, and the companies who's advertising sponsors Dobbs, Limbaugh, Beck, and others.
*** This is a work of satire. ***
These nicknames make no sense. Lou "Lulu" Dobbs, Rush "I Hope He Dies" Limbaugh, Bill "Bubbles" O'Reilly and Glenn "Porn-Man" Beck. What was I thinking? Cheap laugh? I left out Pat Buchanan. He grew up listening to Caughlin.
But Dobbs, Beck, O'Reilly and Limbaugh should not be broadcasting hate speech and inciting violence. They under the rubric of news. This must stop. They are spiritual decendents of Father Charles Coughlin.
Boycott Fox, CNN, and the networks that promote Dobbs, Limbaugh, and Beck, the networks that pronote racism and incite violence, and the advertisers.
The good news is Dobbs ratings are declining, which maybe why he is yelling more and why he called Howard Dean a vampire.(click here)