So this was supposed to be a diary about our journey into our first town hall meeting.
Quite the "experience".
But it's now a way to numb my heart and my mind and my thoughts and to go back 24 hours when things were not so wobbly.
I wrote most of this quickly last night.
And then this. Whatever this is.
So I'm not going to edit my mistakes and prose and try to figure out what I meant.
I kinda can't - but kinda know if I don't post this now, it will be deleted forever and and I do not do diaries so this is the best I have and I said I would write about the Town Hall.
This morning, my best buddy.
My beloved crazy little furball.
My little angelcat who came to us as a stray and stole my heart from the moment I saw him died in my arms.
My beautiful old man.
My 18 year old friend.
Who sat at my feet last night when I wrote this most of this in a hurry.
Who purred so loudly when I would look at him and scratch the top of his old furry head and go CHIIIILLLIII!!!
That was something I said for 18 years.
CHILLLIIIIIIIIII. And I always smile because he would close his eyes and roll over.
Such a part of us that I can't grasp that he died a a few hours ago.
Because it was okay then - He woke up, ate his food, wandered around.
Looking for someone to rub up against.
Like he always does.
And then just like that.
Started to scream under the table.
And we ran to him and he was panting and I knew.
He had gone to the bathroom on himself and this was it I knew and we would not even be able to help him in time by taking him the ER.
It was too far, he was in full distress, he was leaving us by the heartbeat.
Just like that.
I held him and held him and held him and he died so hard.
I hope my litle furangel is sitting in the sun somewhere, purring like he always did.
And smiling. Because I always thought he was smiling at me.
And where ever he is, I hope he as loved there, as he was here.
Chili - our sweet little boy.
I love you so much buddy.
1991 - 2009.
I can't even understand what that means right now.
We went to Frank Pallone's Town Hall Meeting in Piscataway, New Jersey. Blue state, blue town, blue county.
But the call went out to the Teabaggers and the Birthers and the Larouchers and the right wing hash browns.
And they heeded the call. Oh, the Pied Piper of Stupidity called his children, and they came running.
For a month my SO tried to talk me out of going. My temper is not something I think is an asset, and it's not something that I laugh off, or am ambivalent about. I know it's not flattering.
And it's hard on him - my polar opposite.
When I get upset, he is calm.
When I rant, he is calm.
When I yell, he is calm.
But we laugh together a lot - and he has a gentle compassionate heart.
So our pieces fit together.
I wrote this in a comment - why he tried to take me out to dinner instead of me being in an enclosed loonbin with haters.
Well, if you knew what happened in Ocean Grove not long ago, involving me and the SO walking hand in hand down main street, the warm ocean breeze, bakery doors open, all the stores packed, sand in between your toes, and there they were.
Birthers/Teabaggers had a table set up in the middle of all this with fake coffins set up up and pictures of Obama looking like guess who?
The SO grips my hand tighter and tries to pull me past table.
Stupid TeaBirther yells out "Do you have a minute mam? Just one minute?"
I get stiff. The SO groans (he does that a lot).
"What did you say?" (that was me).
TeaBirther: "Can we talk to you about Death Panels Mam? And what it means to you and your family?"
Hands let go. I turn to the ijits. My blood pressure hit 3982.
I see the SO walking away.
And so it began. And went.
And the SO was two blocks up when I was done.
By the time I caught up to him sitting on the bench - I go "Not good?".
Him. "Nope. "
Oh well.
I left out the the conversation because the gist of it was:
Me: Racist thugs, racist thugs, racist thugs.
Them: How dare you.
This went on for...I don't know. It was a blur of crapness of the highest order.
Hence, his fear of me being surrounded.
Because they surround us, right?
Not really, but it felt like it last night.
Hours before the event, he pretended like he forgot there was any type of Town Hall.
I showed him the email I sent signing up. He groaned and sagged and sighed.
And I got ready. Minus the disguise I was thinking about. And off we went.
Wheee.
When we pulled up - I kinda gasped on the inside.
And he went "OH SHIT" on the outside.
There they were. The Larouchers with their tables set up.
And so much old white.
White skin. White Hair. Seniors seniors seniors.
Him: "I'm thinking this might not be such a good idea. "
Me: "You made that clear."
Him: "We could go for a walk down the beach. Only 40 minutes away. You love the beach. "
Me: "I can do this. "
Him: "That's what I'm afraid of."
He grudgingly finds a parking spot and I smile and go "it's on!"
He does not smile.
Me: "Seriously - this will be okay. I'm ready. "
Him: " I want pizza."
or something like that.
Five seconds of walking and a couple walk over to us.
I can smell them ten miles away. GOP.
The aura of stupid is a stench like no other.
Stupid Woman: "Well....hi there...Here we are. The Mob, right? "
Me: Well, act like the Mob, and you get called a Mob, right?
Stupid Woman: (confused fake laugh) But who's they, right? The Liberal Media?
The SO: Please no.
Me: It's not the media - it's the actual footage. Not good. Not good at all.
Stupid Man: Yeah, but with ACORN and the union thugs doin' all the riotin', and the camera's don't catch that, right?
The SO: Hey, you guys know what time it is?
So here's where I say once again they think I am them.
It as the way they smiled, the conspiracy tone they took.
Why?
It's something I would bring up to my therapist if I had one.
So back to stupid woman and stupid man.
We're still walking towards the building.
Ijits are behind us and still do not notice I have not met their eyes or smiled at them.
That is key stupid people: read the body language.
Stupid Man:: (still not getting it because they are stupid) - So you here to give that Congressman a piece of your mind too?
Stupid Woman: Okay. Who cares what she said. I was not listening. I was trying to prevent myself from screaming at the top of my lungs SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
aka - Serenity Now.
Stupid Man: You know what he can do with this health care garbage I'll tell you....
Me: Yeah! Healthcare is waste of our time
Stupid Man (whoosh). And Obama is a bigger waste and
Me: You know what? I suggest you stop right now. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want you following us. I don't want any of this. How's that?
Stupid Woman: oh my.
Stupid Man: You know what? I think you're right.
Me: Jesus.
And hit tip to Hunter because in a diary he had written a little while back he said to go around with a sign that said I hate Healthcare to gauge the stupid and I kinda did that and got the response that one would expect.
And I walked faster.
To catch up the SO who was once again five miles up the way.
He tends to run like stocking when this things occur.
Me: Hey, I did good.
The SO: Really?
Me: Yeah. First time ever.
The SO: We're only five minutes in.
Me: Give me some credit please.
As we approach the building - the lines. Oh my god the line.
We got there early and the line to get in just went on. And on. And on.
And we get at the end of that line.
Right in front of a table set up with Lorouche literature and some crazy ass signs.
And three crazy ass imbeciles yelling something or other.
NO OBAMACARE or who the hell knows.
I made my eyes and ears go blind and and deaf.
Part of my "do not engage" strategy.
Because we were in a crazy part of the line.
They were in front of us.
And in back of us.
And no one under 70.
And they were so angry.
Ensure withdrawal or something.
I turn to the SO.
Me: damn - this is a bad flashback. Inauguration.
The SO: Yeah. We ain't getting in.
He is smiling.
We had blue tickets for that special day.
And after standing in line for five hours, we were turned away.
And went home.
So he thinks home sweet home.
Me: You know what? I'm going to make some friends.
The SO: huh? no!
Me: See you in a few minutes. Keep looking for me.
And I ran off all the way near the front of the line.
And sat on a bench. And started to watch people closely.
And I see two guys who just looked like my people. No signs.
No shirts. Just this vibe.
I watched them for a while and made my move.
Me: Hi - how are you? Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Friendly Guy 1: Hi. (looks at me with suspiciously I have to say).
Me: (quietly): We're stuck way in the back of the line with an unfriendly group and really really really want to get into the meeting. Can we pretend we're friends and you saved our spots?"
Friendly Guy 2: Hmmm. You wanna cut in?
Me: I know. It's unethical. And immoral. And I'm putting you on the spot.
Friendly Guy 1: All depends who you're here to support.
Me: I think I'm right on this, the same side you're on.
Friendly Guy 2: And what side is that?
Me: Well, I love my President.
It was so cute how their faces just exploded into these smiles.
I tried to think of something better to say -but that is what came out.
Friendly Guy 1: (loudly) HEY! We where wondering when you'd show up!
Friendly Guy 2: (loudly) So where is your better half?
Me: Thank you.
And I went a little ways - saw the SO scanning the crowd a mile back, jumped up and down, and waved for him to come over.
And there we were. Close enough to get in.
And we made two friends.
And we left the Larouchers far far behind.
God I loved those guys. So much fun.
And a young Asian guy in front of them? He saw my Obama sign that said "health care for all - thank you. "
And asked if I had any extras. I did.
And a woman in front asked if she could have one. And the woman in back of me too.
And damn our little contingency was a safe haven at last.
Best conversations ever.
I made the right call.
Once we passed though the metal detectors, and I had my purse inspected, don't even think about a gun here in NJ - we were in.
They cut off the line not five to ten people after us.
We had to stand in the back. It kinda blew, because once again we were stuck with the nutz crowd.
I do not know how that happened. It's like the normals got seats, and we were in loon central.
We spent too much time sighing up and getting literature from a table.
Bad move.
And let me be clear, the normals were there in force.
But they are too civil and too quiet.
I mean that's good, but the nutz are so vocal.
So you feel like there are more of them.
So the couple in front of us?
Not angry. But strong No on HCR. No on taxes.
No on medicare. No on everything.
But they were not there with loon signs or yelling.
Guy next to the SO.
Strong NO ON All things Obama.
Woman next to me - has sign up.
JUST SAY NO TO OBAMACARE. OBAMA LIES, GRANDMA DIES.
Guy two people down. His sign: BULLSHIT.
That was it.
Bullshit.
Next to Bullshit - Old guy with sign that says IF I WANTED TO DIE UNDER OBAMACARE I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR HIM. The back of it says " OBAMA WANTS TO KILL YOUR GRANDMOTHER".
Brilliant.
Grandmothers are front and center.
It's like open season on them I guess.
Young guy walks up, stands next to me.
I look at his shirt.
It says "Ask me who John Galt is."
I go "Oh brother. "
He moves further away.
Young couple by us - their sign: Medicare for All.
Yaaay.
Woman with Just Say No to ObamaCare says to me "blah blah blah thanks for coming can you believe blah blah i hate obama blah. "
I go " Your sign is ridiculous. Truly."
I get dirty look and she goes "How rude."
I shrug my shoulders. Who cares.
Look for my friends. They are scattered.
Halp.
Five cute seniors stand not too far from us with HUGE Signs that say I Love my Single Payee Medicare.
And so it begins.
I love my Congressman.
Frank Pallone - he's so sweet. And very very progressive.
One of the best voting records a liberal could ask for.
He is on the HCR committee - and is a Public Option supporter.
There is nothing he votes the wrong way on - nothing.
But the mayor of the town opened it up.
And made the right call - he told us that rudeness, yelling, and disrespect will not be tolerated in this forum.
If any of that occurs, you will get ejected, period.
There will be no talking over others, no highjacking.
The Nutz look pissed.
The Normals look relieved.
So here's Frank - he starts to talk about this and that.
Says he did not expect this kind of crowd.
And that we would have to break up into two meetings.
That ours would end in an hour and half or so, and the next group would come in.
Bad news for those outside.
In order to get them all in - they'd have to have 3898 sessions.
Surprisingly, the crowd did not mind and murmured their approval.
Or maybe that was Normals murmuring "okay. good. "
So he's talking about the stimulus, the economy, jobs, and then health care.
The Nutz are rolling their eyes and mumbling quietly.
The Normals look entranced.
I can feel the Native nutz getting restless.
They are here to let their stupid ooze out, and this guy is trying to stop them.
Guy with BULLSHIT sign yells out: Please Congressman, enough. Enough of this crap. Get to the point.
Mayor jumps up, says: I warned you!
Bullshit shuts up.
Then Frank lays out what the HCR is about, and why he supports it.
And why he supports Public Option.
Nutz groan and kinda boo.
Normals go YAAAAAY!
Mayor goes: I warned you!!
We go quiet.
Then the questions.
Oh Lord the questions.
Most of them were statements.
Did the staffer purposely pick the Nutz?
I mean I could spot "Nutz" in a heartbeat.
Why did he do this?
So the first Nutz goes: (oh god). You brought up Bush and how some things were his fault. But did not elaborate.
Frank: (smiling) Should I have? I can, I'd prefer not to .
FRANK! Could you not tell? Don't smile at him like that?
He is a nutz. He loves Bush. You think he does not like him.
Frank is tired.
First Nut: Bush good. Obama bad. Bush good. You bad. Kill old people. Eric Holder. BAD. Defended Black Panthers. He's a thug. Geinther crook. Biden coork. Kill. Bad. Thugs. Black Panthers again. Illegals. Abortion. Murder? Bums. American Land of the Free. My refrigerator dead crap dead bodies? Blah blah blah.
Oh god. What?
I stopped listening.
He did say something about refrigerators.
The SO is laughing.
Four African Americans sitting in middle doing slow burn.
Woman raises her fist second time he said Black Panthers.
Normals start to go "Get to the question".
Mayor fell asleep.
Frank looks pained. Does not cut this nutz off.
Me: " WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION???!??!?!?!?!?"
The SO: "Shh!"
Me: "No."
Guys still going.
Nutz cheering him on.
Mayor wakes up.
Frank does now know where to begin.
Next question from a Normal.
Crowd cheers. I jump up and down YAAAAY!
It was about how we need Public Option.
Not angry guy in front of me goes NO WAY.
But really, not angry like, so I laugh and go YES WAY.
And his wife laughs.
We cancel each other out.
Staffer then picks another Nutz.
Nutz: Blah blah you more blah about bums throw you out Obama worst President ever blah blah."
Normals: Boooo.
Nutz: Yeah. NO OBAMA CARE.
Mayor: None of that now.
Frank: Tries to explain.
Normals: Yaay.
Nutz: You're a liar Congressman.
Woman next to me yells: IT'S NOT IN THE CONSTITUTION!
Me: You and your constitution. Doesn't even apply.
Her: READ IT READ IT READ IT.
Me: Oh Jesus.
Normal gets called on.
Normal: Thank you Congressman for the awesome job you are doing and for your support for Pubic Option. I'm from Move on dot org.
Nutz: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Booing went on for one minute of so.
And how.
Boos of the highest order.
Mayor jumps up: Enough!
Me: YAAAAAY! Move on dot org! Thanks for your hard work.
Not Angry Guy in front of me: NO WAY. NO WAAAY.
Me: Yes Way. Waaay!
Bullshit Guy: JUST SO NO. JUST SAY NO NONONOOOOO. SHADDUP SHADDUP SHADDUP LADY.
Me: Will you please shut up? !
This was not good. I yelled shut up at the Bullshit guy. It sounded like I was telling move on dot org to shut up. Not angry laughed at me. Young Asian guy across room caught my eye and cracked up because he knew i screwed up.
And I know - saying Shut Up does not bode well on me.
Me: Sorry. Not you move on!
Mayor: Hey!I mean it.
Constitution Woman: READ IT. READ IT READ IT!!!!!!
The SO: Read what? What are you talking about?
Yes. The SO Finally Gets Annoyed.
This just went on and on.
I mean the crowd was not out of control.
Just at times things got rowdy.
But as others have said, the display of ignorance and stupidity is mind boggling.
I mean you think "is this the seventh ring? am i here?
It's that bad.
No undecided people come here.
These are people like me.
And like them.
And neither side could be swayed.
What got everyone to take pause?
And was heartbreaking to listen to?
A man with a speech impediment and other disabilities was given the mic.
He thanks Frank with all his heart.
He said that he was on Medicaid, and in order to keep it, could not work.
And that he wanted a good job, but could not take it or lose his aid.
He begged Frank to pass this with the PO.
You could hear a pin drop.
So I wiped my eyes.
And Bullshit kept his mouth shut.
And Constitution woman - yes. She rolled her eyes and mumbled "sure sure."
I turned to her and mouthed "Utterly Despicable."
And pointed to her.
Her face contorted and I said "don't."
She turned red and moved away.
The Normals are out there.
They were there.
They showed up.
There were some good Normal signs.
But this cemented my partisan feelings.
The Normals heeded what they were told - be civil. respectful. listen.
(yeah yeah, maybe I get a c minus in that).
Nutz? There to make no sense.
They heeded what they were told to do. Show your ignorance.
And I write more about the Nutz because I felt so slimed by the time I got home.
Just so ugh.
They were in my bubble. My sanctuary. Very discombobulating I must say.
But I would go again in a heartbeat.
I was there to support a man that I admire, respect and so much appreciate.
So yes - I would go again without hesitation in case anyone is wondering.
And most of the Nutz came from all parts of Red Jersey.
This did not represent my district by far. We don't do red.
But we've got those clusters of mold here too.
Unfortunately, this is Blue Jersey. We "surround them."
(And my pictures are giving me too many problems.
I had pictures of my two heroes and a lot more - but something went wrong with the upload. )