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I was reading icebergslim's diary, and got to the end with the number for the white house.  I was so enraged by that point, I picked up the phone, hoping to leave a message.  Alas, no voicemail at the whitehouse.  So, I took their suggestion and went to 'contact us' at

First, some background, after the jump.

I did not canvass for Obama, I did not go to other states, I never made it to a rally (well, there were NONE in NY!) but I did phonebank, and blog, and talk him up to anyone that would listen, and wear my button, my bumpersticker and put out my yard sign (all in a red rural area of upstate NY) and I donated.  I have a house with leaks in the roof, problems with my well and then some - and am underwater on my mortgage.  I am a single mom who has tried for 5 years to live one of my dreams - I started a nursery (plants) and landscaping business.  I work two part time jobs year round, and pick up another one in the winter, sometimes more.  It is not enough, as the season is too short up here and the winters are long.  I refinanced the house the first few years, cashed in some insurances and watched my business grow - for the first three years anyway.  Then last year the income dropped, what with gas prices and all - but I had HOPE.  And this year, phhhtt!  

So, each month, I play the pro and con game - do I walk away (i.e. stop paying the mortgages) this month?  Of course, that means I would have no home AND no business.  And without other work lined up (been applying to various FT jobs for the last 10 months, hoping to climb out of this hole and still have my nursery at least on weekends), I really have no where to go!  There are places for me to actually go - family, one sister in particular who would love the company (but will only take the dog, and not the cat - so she says, anyway).

And in the midst of this, I donated, and donated.  Never a lot, but enough to get me on the FEC lists overall!  I gave up cable years ago, this past year I gave up garbage pickup - in between, I gave up most everything else - vacations, newspaper delivery, hell, even help at the nursery, my phonebook ad and more!

And now, as I read in someone's comment, I feel like the knife is being turned.  In Icebergslim's diary, Valadon referred to the 'emotional pain' he is seeing in those around him.  I am one of those people.  

I stand to lose everything in the near future.  I don't have all that much to begin with.  I struggled for everything I do have -  was never married, never had any child support.  My daughter, 22 and an only child, has severe chronic medical issues.  Thank God, she has medicaid (though might lose that due to a PT job she recently started - we are working with the county to keep it, all while we wait on her 4 year old disability claim).

I do not mind working hard.  I don't even mind not having a lot to show for it - just a decent home, food on the table, and, it sure would be nice, a few dollars to be able to see my family occasionally.  I can be content with very little.  But not when my country is being chewed up by rabid republicans and the man I believed in so much is going to cater to their desires instead of those like me who have supported him for so long.  

I am generally not an overly emotional person, but I spent a fair amount of time this past week in tears for our loss of Ted Kennedy.  Being so let down by Obama on the heels of that, in the FACE of that, truly is heartbreaking - the kind of heartbreak when your heart really does physically ache.

So here is my letter:

Dear President Obama,

I am so disheartened at what I am hearing coming out of the Whitehouse.  I don't know how far back your records go, but if you searched my name, you would see that I first wrote to you in support when I heard of your exploratory committee.  I wrote how disillusioned I'd been for so long, and how you had renewed my spirit and given me HOPE.

I donated to you - several times.  And I am broke, perhaps going to lose my home and business in the coming months (have been holding on month by month for almost a year now).  I have had no insurance for six years.  I have not been able to do house repairs (including getting my furnace going - the nights are already down in the 40's here in upstate NY, so I guess I need to figure out how to pay for that one soon!).

And now, worse than not getting a public option, is the fact that you are leaving us all behind.  I made phone calls for you.  My sister canvassed for you.  I blogged, I e-mailed family members, I gave my heart and soul to your campaign.  And now you can't understand WHY we are drawing a line in the sand with the public option.  

Despite your best efforts, you seem to have been caught in the bubble.  May I suggest going back and listening to the speeches you gave at all the rallies and town halls in 2008.   Listen to a few months worth of them, like we did - watching and listening to the same stump speech day in and day out.  We never tired of listening, because the words were exactly what we wanted to hear.  The plans were exactly what we wanted to have done.  THAT is why you won our heart and souls.

And now, we, and our desires, which equal the desire of 77% of the population - SEVENTY SEVEN PER CENT!, are being cast aside in the spirit of bi-partisanship.  I am sick to my stomach that you would bail on the American people for the sake of pretense that there is any negotiating to be done with what passes for the Republican party these days.  These liars, these cheats, these heartless bastards who are reveling in inciting anger, hate and violence across the country are being elevated by you at the cost of me and those that are like me - those that did support you, that believed in you.

For eight years, I could not read the papers or watch the news.  I was so heartbroken at what was happening to my country, at what was being done in my name. I have a feeling, by the time this fight is over, I will be much more heartbroken - and it will no longer be disillusionment I suffer, it will be disgust - with government and those who play with our lives, not to mention our hearts and pocketbooks.

I do hope that the sliver of hope I am holding on to that you will ignore your own and other naysayers and do the right thing is the piece of me that is right and will survive this mess.  I am hanging on very thinly - in so many ways.

Please, President Obama, serve the people and nothing else.

God bless you and your family and keep you safe.


I asked for a response.  Probably shouldn't have, as the rote words will probably be worse than no response at all.

Thanks you for reading this far, really just needed to vent.

Originally posted to MRA NY on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:08 PM PDT.


I feel:

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Comment Preferences

  •  I really cannot take much more of this, I mean (8+ / 0-)

    I REALLY cannot take much more.

    "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

    by MRA NY on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:10:33 PM PDT

    •  Great hearfelt email. I really hope he gets it. (4+ / 0-)

      I feel all your pain. I am in a similiar boat. I wrote on a recd diary earlier today about being flat busted because my uninsured husband had a heart attack. I said I had $100 cash for groceries this week...well I had it in my jeans pocket (a new hand me down pair from my sister with pockets that must not be as deep) well no more, I must have lost it somewhere! Can you believe the bad luck! We will all be eating green beans and bread until next tuesday's pay check. Our furnace needs repair also and it's sad that something like that just stares at you like some insurmountable obstacle. I really do feel like staying in bed some days and pulling the covers up over my head.

      •  Likely fate of the email (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        NoMoreLies, MRA NY

        If he was forced to pick the topic "Healthcare Reform", he will get a reply email of the Healthcare talking points and emails for the rest of his life updating him on what Obama's position on this or that is.  All done without any human being every reading it.

        Pretty snazzy, eh what.  Obama disappears inside the White House bubble--prepared daily briefing instead of newspapers, automatic responses to email....and he doesn't realize how out of touch he is becoming with his base.

        •  Well, he is a she. As for the e-mail, am not (0+ / 0-)

          sure how they are operating, but as far as being on his list - I get regular e-mails from: the Whitehouse, OFA, Dem. for America, ACLU, Boxer, Murphy, Gillibrand, JusticeforALL, various chapters of OFA, Firedoglake, MoveOn, DNC,, various environmental groups - that is off the top of my head!

          I will be taking myself off all the Dem sites - DNC, DSCC, OFA, etc. - if we do not get a public option.

          I have written/called all of them, and the whitehouse, and REid, and Pelosi and will continue to do so telling them no $ (they don't know I am a 2 bit player!) and no phonebanking, etc. for them but will have all that for primary opponents.

          "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

          by MRA NY on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:39:56 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      •  I hope your husband is on the mend. The loss (0+ / 0-)

        of the $ sucks!  One thing to have to split it a million ways, another to lose it altogether.  I will hope that somebody in even worse straits finds it.

        Yeah, the furnace is only a few years old, but late last year I had the co. come for a cleaning - NOT realizing my contract had run out.  cost me a couple hundred, then stopped working a few weeks later.  Don't want to pay $250 for the contract, cuz their oil price is high and wanted to shop around BUT I owe them almost six hundred still, so might have to stay with them so they can work with my HEAP $ (which I got last year for the first time in 20 years).

        btw, furnace went in March sometime - our last frost here this year was June 1! (electric heaters and LOTS of sweaters)

        "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

        by MRA NY on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:33:57 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Ha we think alike. The only way I could stop (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          MRA NY

          kicking myself was to think that maybe someone even more desperate then myself found it and thought it a great fortune. It seems very pathetic to think that the loss of $100 just completely sinks you, but that's about where we are at the moment. My husband is on quite a few meds and one doesn't come generic so it's $150 a month alone then add the rest and zoicks.

          •  In a diary this a.m. or last night (or both!), (0+ / 0-)

            several comments were made about calling the pharmaceutical companies that make what you need - many have programs to help people out(one was the story of the 20 year old with diabetes, the other was someone with lupus - i think the former had more suggestions than the latter).

            Don't know if that is feasible, but certainly worth checking out.

            Yeah, funny that $100 actually seems like so much more than it used to when history would deem the opposite should be true.

            "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

            by MRA NY on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:49:47 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

    •  That was a great e-mail you sent. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      MRA NY

      I work full-time with the FDL team on health reform thanks to your donations.

      by slinkerwink on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 08:52:01 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I can hear you (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    grrr, NoMoreLies, MRA NY

    and NY is closer to DC than where I sit. The Audacity of Hope....maybe we should send him his own book and ask him to give it a re-read. Then again, maybe he was talking to the GOP. I thought they should be the ones left out in the cold.

    •  I have that book and Dreams of my Father, both (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      of which my sister loaned me last winter.  For some odd reason, I have not read them yet - and I am an avid reader (don't go to bed without a book!).

      I wonder if this would be a good time or bad to pick them up!

      "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

      by MRA NY on Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:26:21 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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