Every night, I put on my pajamas, brush and floss my teeth, and kneel next to my bed to say my prayers. Then I turn off the big light, but leave the little one on so that I can read a little before bed. I climb into bed, under the covers, and open my book. I like to read, but I'm really just delaying the inevitable: soon I'm going to have to turn off my light and go to sleep, but I'm afraid.
There is a monster in my closet.
No, I swear. There is a monster in my closet, and he waits until I'm defenselessly sleeping to come into my room and do monstrous things. He rifles through my stuff, does crazy monster dances, and reads my diary. Then he puts it all back exactly as it was when I went to bed. How do I know this? I just do. He's a monster, after all. That's how monsters operate.
I know what he looks like. He's big, maybe 7 or 8... maybe 10 feet tall. He's got green fur... or maybe yellow... and huuuuuuge teeth. I mean crazy teeth. He's got clawed hands that would be perfect for slashing me to ribbons while I slumber. Why hasn't he slashed me to ribbons yet, you ask? Maybe because he's biding his time. How should I know why a monster does what it does, or doesn't do what it doesn't do? I'm not a monster.
I've had my friends all look in my closet during the day, and at night before bed, and they haven't found any monster yet. But I know he's there. Most of my friends don't believe me, but some of them do. Some of them even have monsters in their closets. We can't agree on what our monsters look like, but all monsters are different, even if they all serve the same evil purpose.
What's the evil purpose? To destroy humanity, of course. It's the dream of every monster. When there are no more humans, monsters can roam free. We are all that's standing between them and Monster Heaven On Earth. It really is just a matter of time before they launch their massive midnight strike on all of us poor, sleeping people. Doesn't that scare you??? DOESN'T IT???
Well, I don't care what you say. There IS a monster in my closet, and he's got purple scales under his blue fur, and big teeth and claws. I could draw a picture of him with my eyes closed, even though I've never seen him. I don't NEED to see him to know he's there... waiting...
And you're just helping him and the rest of the monsters by being complicit. You're probably in league with the monsters, aren't you? That figures. You look in my closet and you say you don't see anything but you know he's there. Now I don't know who to trust. It is now clear that anyone who denies the presence of monsters is in cahoots with them.
I bet you're a socialist.