Here at Vladimir Lenin Revolutionary High School (home of the Fightin' Red Menace — touchdown, comrades!), we will certainly be showing President Õbámâ's revolutionary diatribe to our sheep-like masses of American schoolchildren! The children will all gather in the gymnasium, where our Revolutionary Jumbotron will be lowered from the ceiling to prepare for the Broadcast from Heaven from our Imminent Leader. While we establish the connection to the Kremlin White House, the children will march around the gymnasium in a correct circle, singing songs celebrating the state and impugning the genitalia of the capitalist lackeys.
The whole thing is posted at the Examiner, but chunks of it are below.
Part 2 (or 1.51, to follow the title trope) of my earlier slap at Malkin, Beck, and the other woo-hoos howling and clutching at themselves over Obama's speech tomorrow. As with the others, I get a few pennies for hits, so click on the link and help feed the kitty (who feels better today, thank Bast).
Meanwhile, some of the choicer bits are below.
Stand Guard, America!
On September 2, the day after La Malkin warned the world about Õbâmá's propaganda assault, freethinker Glenn Beck told his radio audience that Beloved Leader intended to "indoctrinate" our little dumplings, and issued the following clarion call: "Stand guard America. Your republic is under attack." I always felt that way during algebra myself; after we started precalculus, I was ready to water the tree of liberty with the blood of Mr. Penick. Good of Beck to recognize the Threat from Within, and alert us all to it in time for us to watch dancing penguins on YouTube instead of the president's speech.
Óbâmà's Little Red Book
Our right-thinking buddies at Newsbusters (when news busts, they tell us what to think about it) alerted us to The Sayings Of Chairman Barack, apparently the secret origin of Óbàmâ's speech. How could we have known? Newsbuster Mark Finkelstein was so on target that I feel the need to give you a big ol' chunk of his thinking:
"Say, here's an idea. Pres. Obama's quotations on a variety of topics could be assembled in a small book, and every citizen given one — free of course — by the government. Citizens would then be encouraged to meet and discuss 'what can we infer the President believes is important' in every aspect of life.
"Naturally, those citizens who improperly interpret 'what the president believes is important' will be given additional educational opportunities to learn and reflect on his message. They will be housed in special government schools for people of all ages, to be set up across the country in quiet, rural areas, free from the stress of everyday life that can cloud clear thinking.
"These schools will also be free, and staffed by special teachers, members of course of our wonderful labor unions, who correctly understand the president's message and will be sure to imbue every student with correct thinking in the wisdom of the president before he or she is freed, um, graduates.
"Will our MSM report on the interesting parallel between our president's plan for our children and the approach of another Great Leader from the past?"
You know, it's satire when I write it.
Monday, holiday. Tuesday, home schooling. Wednesday, recess!
The move to keep your kids home, safe from prying presidential mind-control videos, started, as far as I can tell with a cursory Google search, on a blog called Atlas Shrugs, with fellow militia mom Pamela Geller exhorting her comrades to keep your little sweeties home and protect them from Dr. Ôbàmá's Vulcan Internet mind-meld. Anyone who runs a blog named after Ayn Rand's most famous doorstop of a novel is aces in my book! (But she, too, has all those links on every other word on her site, though these go to Yellow Pages knockoffs and unidentified online universities which I'm sure are not AIU, and so are you.) Geller tells fellow parents: "The fascist in chief is taking his special brand of brainwashing to the classroom. Keep your kids home. I think this man is a threat to our basic unalienable rights. I don't want him indoctrinating my children. Seriously." No, I don't doubt her seriousness. I'd like to ask her if we really do have a "fascist in chief," why he hasn't put her in jail for her anti-state rhetoric instead of left her alone to drive her freedom of speech like a drunk steering his Oldsmobile through someone's living room, but that would be unkind and she might poke my eye out with her Dagny Taggart cigarette holder. "Ask your school what their participation is in this leftist indoctrination outrage," she intoned. "Keep politics out of the classroom. Keep communists and their propagandists away from small children." Hey, Pam, you don't have to keep asking "where is John Galt?" I found him, honey. He was behind the couch the whole time!
God, I slay me.