It was yesterday afternoon around 4PM in a not quite crowded NYC subway station.
A young mother was trying to make her train which she heard approaching the station as she went through the turnstile, but had a baby in a bulky stroller that she needed to get down a staircase of 15-20 stairs. A man who was trying to get uptown to make his bus home after work just so happened to be coming to top of the staircase at the same time the young woman was about to (in vain and gently) push her stroller down the staircase slowly.
The woman, who happened to be "African American", was struggling as she looked rushed, but obviously was concerned about safely getting the stroller down the stairs. The man, who happened to be a "Caucasion" professional, didn’t want to miss his ride back home, but having a young child himself, saw the mother struggling and offered to assist in carrying the stroller safely down the staircase.
The woman smiled and looked genuinely relieved to have someone helping her, and the man smiled, saying that he "had a little one at home too, so he knows how bulky the strollers can be". Both got to the bottom of the stairs – the baby still sleeping in the stroller, and when they got to the subway (in time, mind you), she thanked him profusely, which was met with a "of course, no problem, my pleasure".
As they approached his stop, she smiled as he got off and they parted ways – baby still sleeping.
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We hear so much about racial tensions – how people fly off the handle at each other and some very disturbing stories of attacks or slurs or other disgusting behaviors. And while this has become more prevalent (at least to this fairly distant observer) lately, there are a number of random chance encounters that happen everywhere every day that reinforce the goodness in people.
On the outside, and strictly on the outside only – the woman and man "looked different" as far as stereotypes go. However, this encounter shows that regardless of what is on the very surface – a great number of people have a lot more in common than that they don’t have in common. The basic desire to look out for their families – their children. The shared knowledge and experience of trying to do something difficult while under a time pressure. The underlying and innate reflex to help others. And the appreciation for someone making your life just a wee bit easier.
I mention "race" in the title and only note the color of the woman and man’s skin to show that while race is a very touchy and very sensitive subject, there are basic things that go on in our everyday life that transcend race and show that regardless of the issues we discuss here every day and the heated discussions or staged events or very real protests that go on, so many people just want some basic things – to take care of their own, to have things be a little less difficult, regardless of whether it is temporary or permanent or whether it is big or small, and to know that they don’t have to (always) fight so hard for every little thing.
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When I saw that woman at the top of the stairs, it was an automatic reaction for me to ask if she needed help – I’ve been there so many times before myself. And it didn’t matter what the color of her skin was, what she was wearing or whether she had a stroller or something else. And she didn’t care that I was wearing a suit, was white or whether I was an accountant.
It was one of those moments that made me feel a little bit better about things – and it wouldn’t have mattered if I was the one helping, the one being helped or just someone who saw the 30 second event unfold.
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Update [2009-9-17 16:22:42 by clammyc]: No, not the obligatory, "rec list? gee!!", but I just wanted to point out that while it is nice to get the kind words for my actions, it really wasn't about my actions at all. I even debated disclosing that I was one of the people in this story but it made it easier to end the diary. Glad that it touched y'all.