I just don't always know what to do about it. My daughter and I were on the bus and an older couple sits down next to us. And the woman says to me "Why don't they learn English when they come to this country? They should learn English."
And I gave my pat answer to such a comment. "My family didn't. My Norwegian great grandmother never learned English, my grandmother learned English at school." "Well," she said "Not my family, we came from Ireland."
She then went on about how 'those' mothers take all the senior seating, to me, one of three mothers with young children seating in the front of the bus. Now there are ten seats reserved for seniors, another woman and I and our kids are taking four seats, the older couple have two seats and four are open. A third woman with two kids is in the first row of regular seats. I am white, the other two mothers are Hispanic. Now as the complaining woman goes on and on to me about how inconsiderate some people are gesturing at the other two women, one of whom is not even in the senior's section so I repeatedly assure her that there are open seats and that if more seniors get on I will move. I think she finally get tired of my not chiming in and changed to calling one of the families a grandmother and child. She may have been right but it gave me an opening to go on and on about how old I was when I got pregnant and how I was old enough to be my child's grandparent.
And all this while I am waffling in my head, do I mention her racism out loud or do I just be polite yet not agree? Do I cause a scene? Would it make her less likely to make racist comments next time if I did? Do my subtle comments have any chance of changing how she thinks about language and immigration? If you know any Minnesotans you will not be surprised to learn that I say nothing that would upset her, but I think she slowly got my message as only another Minnesotan would as she turned her comments to her own daughter in FL. Or may be she just didn't want to hear the details of my fertility troubles. Minnesota Nice is like that.
But as I think back on it, I need more ready answers. My comparing new immigrants to my ancestors is very effective response to the why don't they learn English comments but my repertoire ends there. What is your favorite way to be polite but clear that you do not agree with a given racist comment?