How could we do this to your poor country, why this could tear apart the very fabric of American society. This could cause repercussions that could echo through the ages, and damage your system of laws and justices irreparably.
What am I talking about? Why, this:
U.S. women get married in Ontario, but can't get divorced in either country
This is terrible. How could we let such a thing happen? I mean, it's bad enough that we let our own gay people get married. Why, when I got non-gay married last year, I could literally feel the oppression weighing down on me in the church. Later I was told that was just the humidity of the hottest weekend of the season, but I think we all know that's just a cover story.
But these two women who have apparently already split up amicably and divided all their property are now in a sort of marital hell (as opposed to the literal hell which many conservatives wish to send them). So know two people who were never supposed to be married can no longer be not married and face polygamy charges if they try to get married to anyone of any gender. Why, if it wasn't for that Loving v. Virgina ruling, they could each get married to a someone of another race and achieve some kind of wingnut anti-sanctity of marriage nightmare trifecta of gay polygamous interracial sexy fun time.
So to recap, on behalf of Canada, oops. Our bad. We'll try to institute marriage inequality real soon. It's understandable though, I mean all those Indianans look alike.