Following the incredible rains that struck Georgia in the past week, I imagined this conversation between Barack Obama and Governor Sonny Perdue. My heart truly goes out to the people - not the politicians - of the State of Georgia.
"Hello, Mister uh .... uh .... President. Sonny Perdue here. No, not the chicken guy. The Governor of Georgia."
"Georgia? Down south someplace, right?"
"That's right. Just below South Carolina."
"Wait a minute. Didn't you guys secede?"
"Not yet. I mean, no suh - absolutely not."
"Are you sure? I could swear I heard Saxby Chambliss saying something about leaving the Union."
Oh, hell no, boy. I mean sir. We was just funnin' a bit. Coupla good ol' boys, doncha know."
"Well, what can I do for you Governor?"
"It's like this, Osama - I mean Obama. I mean Mr. President. It's been rainin' cats and dogs down here for a week. Thought it was the Second Coming. But I know you're an atheist, so I won't bother you with any religion talk."
"I'm a Christian, Governor."
"Do tell. Well that's fine, Reverend Wright - I mean Mister President. Maybe you can help us out."
"How so?"
Well, Mr. Marx - I mean Mister President. I was hopin' you might declare the State of Georgia a disaster area, so we can apply for some federal aid."
"Did you say federal, Governor?"
"That's right boy. I mean sir."
"But isn't this one of those cases where we should get the federal government off of your back? I don't want to offend you with any socialist reform program. Next thing you know, I'll be indoctrinating your kids and slapping your people into FEMA concentration camps."
"Oh, Mr. Ayers - I mean Obama - you didn't take all that talk seriously, did you?"
"Georgia is a sovereign state, Governor. From what I hear, it's almost a country."
"But we need the federal government to step in sir. People are suffering."
"I understand that Governor. But I don't want to offend the Georgia Congressional delegation. Representative Gingrey would have a fit. I don't want to tread on you."
"But ....
"Seems that the tree of liberty must be watered, Governor. Shouldn't be a problem, not with all of that water."
"Please, Mister President ....
"Sorry I can't be of more help. Sink or swim, Governor. Sink or swim."
"But, sir ...
"Sorry, Sonny. Gotta run. Jim DeMint on line two. Something about thunderstorms in South Carolina."