Too often, I feel I have lived in a state of constant outrage, a state I am constantly trying to escape. One way to escape is my addiction to instant gratification here on the internets. My name is dansk47 and I am caught up in the instant gratification syndrome. Are you? My comments (how many recs did I get?), the tweets (how many followers? three, my god I am a failure!), add on balancing work, the family and then throwing in the current unfortunate divisive state of our American Life, I feel I am 10 feet under.
This feeling of being overwhelmed, too often rushed and always under pressure, in a perpetual state of "hurry," needing to get from point A to point B before humanly possible is wearing. Through it all I hope and strive to find some form of validation, satisfaction or happiness in my life. But along the way it is easy to miss the simple answers to those things I seek, the true happiness, the validation and the satisfaction of helping someone else.
Too often, I don't take time to interact with the people around me, physically around me, especially those I don't know. Being innocently cold and callous is easy, the quick glance away. You've done it, so have I, the "I didn't really see that so it's easy to ignore" moment. But what is missed is doing a simple act of kindness,something very, very simple and very fulfilling for everyone involved.
A recent experience made me think of the song I chose for the day I was married. And 26 years later its meaning is reminding me, nudging me to bring my life back into focus. To try and make my life, and those around me, better.
(The commentary is interesting, but the version of the song is fantastic)
‘Tis the gift to be simple
‘tis the gift to be free
‘tis the gift to go down where you ought to be.
And when we find ourselves in
the place just right
It will be in the valley of love and delight.
I hate going to the post office. The one closest to my work is small cracker jack sized office which is always busy with too few people at the counter and too many people in line. By this post office's standards, a twenty minute wait is short. I always become impatient and bitchy each and every time I go there.
But the other day I had an experience that allowed me to remember who I am, or who I should be. And I was thankful for it. It helped me remember I am a nice person, that I can still be a nice person and that simple things mean so much.
While I was at the post office I had a brief, passing conversation with an elderly gentleman. He entered the post office, bend over with age, happily greeting everyone he saw. He was well into, or possibly past, his 80's. As I stood there packing up the parcels I was sending, he began a conversation about the amount of junk mail we all receive. As he said, he could heat his house with it. I agreed.
As I was walking away he dropped several letters on the floor. He began to bend over, with great effort, to pick up the letters, but it was obvious it was a strenuous task for him. As a youthful 52 year old, I stooped over, picked up the letters handing them to him while making a silly comment about how they were trying to escape him.
When I handed the letters to him, he looked at me with all seriousness and said that what I had done reminded him of something his father had once told him. I stopped. My first thought was "Oh shit, what did I do?"
But he proceeded and I was transfixed by his eyes, eyes that had seen a lifetime or more. I could only imagine when he was younger, his eyes would have rivaled Newman's. I am sure they were a beautiful turquoise tinged sky blue. Now age had dulled them somewhat, but they were a faded blue like comfortable, well-worn denim, with fluffy white eyebrows floating above. But they were eyes that deserved respect and attention.
He told me how his father, when in his 70's, much younger than my new friend was now, looked at him one day and simply said "In the end, all we have are each other."
The truth of that comment hit me hard. And my eyes teared up. And I wanted to hug him. And I was reminded how such a simple gesture for a fellow human could mean so much.
It reminded me of how chaotic my life has become, and how much I want it to change.
And, it made me think of this song
And it reminded me how simple it is to say hello, open the door, to smile at the person seated next to us in the journey we call life. It is a simple act, and appreciated, and maybe, through it all we can come round right.