Forgive me if this has been diaried already, I will take this down if that's the case.
I'm surprised, though, that I haven't seen any diaries posted here yet regarding this major new announcement from the Obama Administration, particularly because the rest of the internet seems to be lighting up with information about this breaking news.
It must be a major story, since I've seen it splashed on banners all over the web - even on pages that don't normally feature news stories. Yet I've not seen a single post here on Kos about it.
The gist of the story, as far as I can tell from the sources I have, is....
***Obama is asking moms to return to school.***
I repeat
***Obama is asking moms to return to school.***
I reveal my unimpeachable sources below...
Exhibit 1:
Evidently, this new government program also involves some initiatives out of the Office of the Surgeon General, as it seems to include a good deal of attention to working the core.
Another source confirms this report...
Exhibit 2
It was unclear as of press time why this dog is hanging out the window, or how exactly it relates to this new Moms Must Go Back To School Program, but I think it's clear that as citizens, we will have the option to choose our state from a menu of state names. No word yet on whether DC will be included.
This also in, from Raw Story:
Exhibit 3
And here we have important new details. This is an Online Education initiative. I'm glad to see the president making a real investment in education technology here - although we're left to wonder what to make of more specific details, like - if it's online education, why does this banner use a notebook design? Is this the new interface for the upcoming Mac tablet?
Again, via Common Dreams:
Exhibit 4
Here's a confirmation of the "List of States" menu that was suggested in the earlier report. Not much new detail, except that this program appears to be part of a healthy breakfast.
Exhibit 5
This source seems to be suggesting something darker behind this initiative. Notice that the four moms in this picture seem to actually be a pair of twins. See how the ones on the right mirror the ones on the left? At least I hope these are twins, and not a harbinger of a Federal Cloning Program. This demands our full attention as it moves through Congress.
Exhibit 6
This one has me a bit stumped. Here's what we know: The List of States is definitely in the bill. The emphasis on moms getting degrees also seems like it's in. But what's with the wings? Is this a dead mom, somehow reanimated to go back to school? That seems much less likely than that this is another indication of some kind of genetic engineering inherent in the program, as per the clones pictured in the previous exhibit. Is Obama creating an army of socialist flying degreed mom clones???
Also, I can now relay that the AP is reporting:
Exhibit 7
This makes very little sense, as the simple List of States once created as an ancillary portion of the bill has now taken center stage, as perhaps the focus of the bill entirely. Indeed - in this report there is no mention of Flying Clone Moms Going Back to School at all - just a passing mention of Auto Insurance of all things.
Remember, though, that this is from the AP, and thus should be taken with a grain of salt. Nevertheless, this BREAKING NEWS will be demanding our attention for some time to come.
Questions raised by these revelations:
- How will the conservatives react to this attack on non-degreed non-flying moms? Is Obama trying to break up the traditional family? Is it too late for America's moms to resist???
- Will that dog ever get where he's going?
- Should Obama be impeached now?
- What about dads? Have dads escaped this presidential order to return to school for cloning/reprogramming? Will it be up to the dads alone to fight this Unconstitutional attack on America's values?
MAJOR UPDATE:
Iiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!