White House Greeting Cards When Obama Wants To Send the Very Best...to the Very Worst.
Follow along after the fold to see what's in the cards....
White House Greeting Cards
For When Obama Needs To Send the Very Best to the Very Worst
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TEABAGGER INVITATION (RSVP)
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I usually fancy a cup of tea,
But y'all aren't my cuppa,
Dang gum it.
Tell you what, you're all invited.
To a huge Rose Garden
Coffee 'n' Near-beer summit.
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If you've taken leave
Of your senses and believe
Half of what you say,
I hope you never ever get ill
In "Your"
Compassion-free USA.
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CONGRATS, ORLY, ON YOUR BRIEF BIRFS
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Orly, Esquire, went to court.
And went, and went, with much retort.
She came from Russia to the States,
And flung out Birther lies and bait.
Taitz, you're not one to talk democracy,
Considering your hyperactive hypocrisy.
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O'Reilly dumped Orly? ORLY? Oh, my.
Judge Carter sets fines and says that you lie.
Oh, unreal realtor/tainted tooth yanker,
Daft queen of disbarment-seeking wankers.
Now that you've sowed this shatstorm,
May we lookie and see YOUR long form?
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THANK YOU TO THE NOBEL COMMITTEE
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Hello. I'm Bo. The First Dog here.
And spokesdog for this souvenir.
They say it's the Nobel Peace Prize.
I see a frizbee: spinned, fliped and flied.
But "they say" my dad should give it back.
Wow. Wingers sure love their panic attacks.
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They told Dad this he should not display.
So I stole it and ran far, far away.
It's hidden now with my kewlest bones.
Buried deeper than Ole Davy Jones.
Someday Dad can show it in his own way.
Damn.
Wingers sure buzz-kill a pup's 1st birthday.
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CONDOLENCES NEWSMAX MILITARY COUP
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Ex-Admiral Perry took an axe.
And gave the Constitution 40 wacks.
Being a wacko, and short of a screw.
He wrote in NewsMax we needed a coup.
Even NewsMax, not known for rationality,
Pulled it. Grounds? Deniable immorality.
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Right leaning think-tanks, back to the books.
Distance from Perry, and too-obvious kooks.
Gin up an overthrow that isn't so plain.
Just push Darth Cheney and Methuselah McCain.
Perry, looks like you've abandoned all reason,
Admiral, Sir, can you spell T-R-E-A-S-O-N?
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GLENN BECK - GET WELL SOON
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Dear Mr. Beck: It seems you're quite ill.
Your face is all piggy, you vomit up bilge.
Eat your own garbage, and root in the mud.
Your snout is snotty and covered in crud.
Losing advertisers, as fast as your mind.
Your future is now a fried bacon rind.
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Typhoid Mary had zilch on your pox.
You spread sickness to millions each day on NuzeFox.
Virulent tears! Disgusting foul lies!
Winner: The Dirtiest IgNobel Prize.
The CDC weighs in: It's a case of Swine Flu.
Fact is there's no swine near as swinely as you.
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