"If you haven't read the Constitution, you're not a player. You're a cheerleader, and probably for the wrong side."
I hired Todd for the summer as a carpenter's assistant. Nearly 30 years my junior, Todd is a 21 yr. old ROTC and political science student. His favorite class last semester was "Politics in the Media", so we spent the summer in heavy discussions, listening to both NPR and FOX Radio.
When we heard that the TeaParty Express would be passing through Brighton, MI, we vowed to attend, to see for ourselves, unfiltered, unedited.
During the ½ hour drive north, Todd was excited, "I'm going to pop my cherry today."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"This is my first political rally."
We arrived a few minutes late, but 30 minutes before the TeaParty Express bus. A brisk walk to the downtown Millpond, we spotted the first sign carrier. Just like the reports, an older gentleman struggled to walk while carrying a teabag-decorated sign, "Keep Government hands off my healthcare."
"Medicare?" I wondered. Should I tell him that Medicare is a government program? Nah.
The rally area was well attended, maybe two or three thousand. We wove through the crowd until the density stopped our progression, right in front of the pavilion, about 50 feet from the stage.
Between the stage and us, the crowd was very excited. Todd recognized a FoxNews roving reporter, "That's Griff," he said.
"I have no idea who you're talking about," I said.
Because of scattered rain showers, it was announced that the podium would move from the open staging area to the pavilion.
We would be front and center! Todd and I looked at each other. "Don't--," I began.
"I'm not leaving," said Todd, with a wide grin.
As they moved the podium to the pavilion, a man asked for help mounting a speaker on a tripod. I stepped forward to help. I tried to make myself as visible as possible, hoping that one of the half-dozen roaming video cameras would train on me to ask my opinion. No such luck.
While waiting for the tour bus, Todd and I took in the signs and T-shirts. Though about 1/3 were about deficit spending, many factions were well represented.
Historical: Obama as Hitler. Obama, Pelosi and Reid as co-Hitlers.
Religious: "Jesus Christ, not Antichrist", "Hell no", "Muslim" and Obama as the devil.
Local issues: "They took GM, don't take my healthcare."
Political fearmongers: "Socialism", "Communism" and "Fascism" signs but no "McCarthyism" signs.
Signs were pro-gun, pro-life, pro-prayer and anti-abortionists, anti-immigrant, anti-government.
There were even anti-grammar and anti-SpellCheck signs, but that's common at most gatherings.
In summation:
a) Keep your hands off our stuff (taxes, guns, health insurance), you Kenyan (Muslim, Hitler or anti-Christ).
while b) WE tell you what to do with your uterus, whom you love, how you love, who to pray to."
The two most troubling signs for me:
- the blatantly racist, Obama PhotoShopped as a witch doctor.
- a picture of a little girl, the words read "Don't kill my grandma." You'd have to be very gullible, lazy, narrow and/or dishonest to wave that sign.
As Todd and I took in and discussed the signs, I began to raise my voice.
"Easy," said Todd, well aware we were smack in the middle of the throng, "Don't engage them. You're not going to change anyone's mind."
"I'll engage...when asked," I said, willing to test Todd's hypothesis, and aware that 25ft. away was a sign that said, "Silence is Consent."
An attractive woman stood nearby with three beautiful daughters. The woman wore a button with images of Franklin, Jefferson and Washington. Do I tell her that none were Christian and that Franklin was an avid "community organizer"?
She was holding a sign that read, "Ask me about my Canadian cousin's healthcare." So I asked, but she couldn't hear me over the crowd.
Todd tried to discourage me, "Don't..."
In his book, Crimes Against Logic, Jamie Whyte wrote that we're all entitled to our opinion, until we express it. Then we're obligated to defend it.
I asked again, "Excuse me, tell me about your Canadian cousin's healthcare."
"Oh," she said, looking at her sign. "I had dinner with three Canadian doctors and they said that the wait is very long."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"They told me that a woman once had to wait two years for bunion surgery."
"Bunion surgery?" I asked.
"YEAH, BUNION SURGERY." The crowd was getting louder.
"THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, BUNION SURGERY?" I yelled back.
"THEY'RE GOOD ABOUT HEART ATTACKS, BUT OTHERWISE, LIKE FOR BUNIONS, THE WAIT IS VERY LONG."
"MY MOTHER HAD BUNIONS FOR 40 YEARS," I said.
"THAT WAS HER CHOICE." chimed in another woman. "IT WAS ELECTIVE SURGERY. SHE ELECTED NOT TO HAVE THE SURGERY."
"SO YOU WANT SURGERY ON DEMAND?" I asked.
"WHAT?" said the other woman.
"IF IT'S ELECTIVE SURGERY, YOU WANT ELECTIVE SURGERY ON DEMAND?"
"I DON'T KNOW."
"SO YOU DON'T KNOW," I said.
"I DON'T KNOW," said the other woman.
I turned back to the sign-carrying woman, "THE THREE DOCTORS, WHAT PROVINCE WERE THEY FROM?" "TORONTO. ONTARIO, I GUESS," she said.
"AS I UNDERSTAND IT, EACH PROVINCE HAS A DIFFERENT PLAN."
"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT," said the first woman.
"YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT," I repeated.
"NO, I DIDN'T," she said.
To badger, or not to badger?
"Easy," said Todd.
A doctor arrived, in a freshly pressed white lab coat, to look authoritative. He greeted the sign-carrying woman, the doctor's wife, who's protesting in favor of speedier U.S. bunion surgeries, not for better heart care.
The TeaParty Tour bus arrived and the travelers made their way to the pavilion. Cheers all around. A member of the tour, a young man, introduced himself and told the crowd he was from Brighton, MI, his hometown. Cheers from the crowd.
"I'm a Republican." More cheers.
He took a jab at the public school system, "If they could see me now." More rah-rah.
Next up, an attractive woman, a country-western singer led the crowd, singing the "Star Spangled Banner."
Then the Pledge of Allegiance. "I pledge allegiance to the flag...." said the crowd.
"Written by a Socialist in the 1890's," I told Todd. He nodded.
"...one nation, UNDER GOD..." yelled the crowd, "with Liberty and Justice for all."
"*Under God* was added in 1954 to keep the Commies out," I loudly told Todd.
"Really?"
"Look it up."
Another singer. "I'm not an African-American," he said, "I'm an American." The American described the Obama administration as "thugs", and the Teabaggers as "not racists". He sang the American TeaParty Anthem (which he wrote) and a re-worded "New York, New York", with lyrics including the words "thugs" and "racist". A volunteer chorus line kicked their feet.
No different than what he'd seen on Fox cable network, Todd tired of it. "I've had enough," he said.
Since I drove, and don't have cable TV, "I have 10 more minutes. We're staying," I said, adding, "If I can take it, so can you."
Neither of us were happy.
Up next, Tour Chairman, Mark Williams, a self-described "radio talk show host" spoke of his radio and TV appearances. He's really an internet talk show host and a radio talk show substitute.
Williams spoke of God, the Constitution, taking back the country, small government...rah, rah, rah.
"Obama's STOMPING on the Constitution," Williams continued with emphasis and a stomp.
In my head, I ticked off the un-Constitutional Bush-era crimes: voter suppression, signing statements, retroactive immunity, invasion of privacy, spying on the press, torture, due process....where the hell was Mark Williams THEN?
"HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?" I yelled from the crowd (15 ft. away.)
"Oh, shit," thought Todd.
"blah, blah, blah," continued Mark Williams.
"HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?" I repeated.
"This might not end well," thought Todd.
With a perfect teaching opportunity, to explain Obama's offenses, Mark Willaims said, "blah, blah, blah".
"HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?" for the third time.
Tour co-Chair, Deborah Johns angrily stared at me.
I pointed at her, "HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?"
Deborah Johns "bravely" broke eye contact and walked away, admitting nothing.
Again. "HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?" A simple question.
Cameras turned towards me.
"HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?" for the sixth time.
Proving himself a talentless hack, Mark Williams responded, "Sir..I remember my first beer."
I looked at Todd, "That's his answer? Celebrate the Constitution, but don't read it. What a tool."
I looked at my watch, "I have to pick up Kathryn from daycare."
Regretting that I would miss a speech by "Joe the Plumber'", we left. (I did catch the often self-refuting speech on YouTube. "Majority rule" one second, "anti-abortion" anti-healthcare the next, even though the majority supports both reproductive rights and healthcare reform.)
I turned to leave. "Excuse me," I said.
A man with a beer gut and salt-and-pepper gray hair pretended he was still a tough guy.
I said again, "Excuse me. Liberal coming through." The beer gut moved.
"Good. Get lost," said someone.
I walked quickly through the crowd. "Liberal who's read the Constitution coming through" cleared the way. I hoped that Todd had kept up.
Near the fringe, a young man with an anti-healthcare sign, "My wife had cancer..."
My patience gone, I unloaded on him. "My brother paid premiums for 25 years, now his kidneys are failing and Blue Cross denies him coverage. Private insurance is broken!"
No response, nor eye contact from the sign-carrying chickenshit.
Todd was right behind me. He was excited. I was pissed and hoarse. He was probably right, by engaging, I likely made no difference.
Todd confessed, "I was kind of a pussy. I should have said something." Maybe I convinced Todd.
My voice, cracking like a 12-yr. old, "I don't know. I can see me regretting it tomorrow."
Todd told me I was spewing spit on those in front of me as I yelled, "HAVE YOU READ THE CONSTITUTION?"
I remembered Al Pacino in the film, And Justice for All, drooling, spitting and yelling, "You're out of order! You're out of order..."
"Yeah, I might regret it come tomorrow."
I haven't regretted it.
Next time we'll bring a copy of the Constitution. And a camera.
At the rally, I saw a T-shirt, "Ayn Rand Was Right."
In The Fountainhead, Rand wrote, in order to destroy excellence, "enshrine mediocrity". On this, I agree.
Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, Coulter and O'Reilly.
FoxNews: Enshrining mediocricy since 1985.
I'm tired of friends and family who fear Socialism though they have no idea what the word means. Nor Capitalism, for that matter.
I'm tired of nostalgia for Reaganomics, though it's failed three times under three presidents, utter failure the last time.
I'm tired of accusations of "Orwellian" by those who've never read Orwell.
I'm tired of best selling books accurately named "Idiot America."
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -- Bertrand Russell
I believe that all would-be voters should take a 10 question test, questions from the US Citizenship Test.
No one need pass the test to vote, they just need to take it.
That way the cocksure would know who they are and the doubters might doubt less.
-- Rick Keith