Today I had an awesome time learning about and sharing some disturbing facts about the group ACORN. Most of these are tweets I shared, the ones that aren't are in parenthesis. If you want to know what this is about, go on twitter and search for #ACORNfacts.
Acorn is the person next to you at the gym that grunts way too loudly. (@KittenGator)
ACORN used the government to change depression era safeguards then left for Enron to cash in just like her husband Phil Gramm
You know that person that cuts you off then drives reaaall slow? Yep, Acorn. (@KittenGator)
ACORN advises Bill Maher about #vaccines
ACORN advised Mark McGwire before his Congressional Testimony
ACORN approved Barry Zito's last contract
ACORN always spoils the game for me when I have it TiVo'd
ACORN censors the net in China
ACORN ignored the August 6 PDB. (KagroX)
#Acorn stood outside of a townhall meeting with an AR-15 slung over its shoulder. (@Lorenjones)
ACORN does it's little turn on the catwalk
ACORN is responsible for pizza being terrible West of Kansas City
ACORN keeps @CliffSchecter off the air because truth hurts Republicans' feelings
ACORN is the only reason George Bush didn't take us to Mars
ACORN securitized mortgages - led to an unregulated market of toxic assets crashing the economy putting poor people out of work
ACORN promised that the Iraq War would only last six days six weeks, they doubt six months
ACORN doesn't care about black people. (@labgrrl)
ACORN believes our education over here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq
ACORN lost pallets of cash in Iraq and electrocuted American troops as they showered.
ACORN is a Raiders fan, taught Jamarcus Russell how not to throw accurately this side of 75 yards
ACORN is being inappropriate, Larry
ACORN misses Chris Farley
ACORN directs a lot of weird Japanese porno
ACORN TOOK MY JOB!
ACORN's tree is kind of on my property
ACORN spent all of Nick Cage's money
ACORN put high fructose corn syrup in everything
ACORN invented the term "Bipartisanship" in 2009
ACORN started a mafia war in my farm town
ACORN ate the dingo that ate your baby
ACORN dropped Steve Doocey on his head when he was a baby
ACORN puts misleading footage on Fox News broadcasts
ACORN stole the Lindberg Baby, and registered him as a Democrat
ACORN rigged the vote, TIM #LINCECUM IS CY YOUNG WINNER!!
@cliffshecter ACORN does Ben Nelson's hair
ACORN NEVER WANTED to do government contract work. They were hoping to get fired so they could do dancing with the stars
Glenn Beck works for ACORN, Actually three of his personalities do.
I'm gonna copy some more of the funny ones and add them to the comment.
Join me on Twitter @ImagineReality
I just realized you might not be able to figure out the joke by going to twitter and searching for #ACORNfacts. The joke is that these right wing groups blame ACORN for a lot of stuff, but in reality they have an outstanding record. Beyond that they don't receive much government funding, there are so many more organizations that take government $$. And many of these groups have committed actual felonies like BlackWater, KBR, Halliburton, Boeing and so many defense contractors that have been caught overcharging the government.
Here are some facts about Markos Moulitsas and ACORN
ACORN wants @markos to keep wearing ties on his TeeVee appearances (derekjjohnson)
MMonidesUSAPLUS: ACORN taught @Markos to blog
Droogie had some great ones
Is this more than fair use? Eh.. screw it.. Soros told us to share.
ACORN gets songs stuck in your head on purpose.
ACORN didn't have any insurance when it rear-ended your car.
ACORN sparkles when sunlight hits it.
ACORN made you go home and change for wearing jeans on a Friday, even though all the other divisions do casual Friday.
ACORN popularized the phrase, "it is what it is."
ACORN was sent from the future to kill John Connor.
In ACORN's belly, you will learn a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over 1,000 years.
ACORN drives the boat, Chief.
ACORN has a straw that goes all the way across the room.
ACORN cast Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York.
ACORN took that racy picture of Miley Cyrus.
ACORN writes children's books under the name R.J. McCutchen.
ACORN never finished Jedi school, but still went around calling himself a Jedi. ACORN repeats the same jokes with different groups of people, even though you've already heard them.
ACORN kept jumping on the trampoline after you fell over. #acornfacts about 2 hours ago from web
ACORN invented the Mercatur projection, which is total bullshit as most cartographers know.
ACORN whispers inappropriate comments loud enough for people to hear them.
ACORN totally ignored your pleas that chaos theory would never allow man to contain the dinosaurs you cloned in his theme park
ACORN left a passive-aggressive note on your front door about dog poop, but you don't even have a dog.
ACORN ate your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. #acornfacts about 3 hours ago from web
ACORN don't surf.
ACORN doesn't say "hello" in the hallways.
ACORN brags about backpacking through Europe when he knows you overdrew your checking account like three times last month
ACORN is a close-talker.
ACORN plays "Party in the USA" when you're trying to read.
ACORN hugged you way longer than you were comfortable with.
ACORN looked down your girlfriend's dress when you were standing right there.
ACORN quotes Ayn Rand at you in an obnoxious fashion at parties.
ACORN buys millions of Coldplay albums, inflating their popularity. #acornfacts about 3 hours ago from web
ACORN is responsible for the second, third and fourth Seth MacFarlane shows. #acornfacts about 3 hours ago from web
ACORN peed on your Cheerios this morning.
Time for some disgusting, unnatural male-on-male behavior, just like ACORN wants to force on our children.
ACORN shrank your favorite sweater in the wash.
ACORN noticed a hole in the seat of your pants and didn't tell you, allowing you to walk around like that all day.
"ACORN is not a crime." --- skateboard sticker
ACORN is a lie.
ACORN: It ain't illegal yet.
ACORN ate New York.
If you don't clean your cutting board after slicing chicken, you risk ACORN cross-contamination.
ACORN is killing the American newspaper industry. from web
ACORN told cats to ignore your love.
Dan Brown will blow the lid off ACORN in his next book: "Seeds of Evil"
While many believe the bird to be the word, they are incorrect. Everybody knows that ACORN is the word.
I got a fever. The only prescription? More ACORN.
"ACORN" is what Bill Murray whispered at the end of "Lost in Translation."
ACORN knows you gotta have that funk, yet refuses to give up said funk.
ACORN makes Steve Gutenberg a star.
ACORN holds back the electric car.
ACORN rigs every Oscar night.
ACORN robs cave fish of their sight.
ACORN keeps the metric system down.
ACORN controls the British crown.
The filling in Twinkies? ACORN.
ACORN rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs.
ACORN is the fifth element.
ACORN is the fifth dentist who doesn't agree Listerine prevents cavities.
ACORN framed OJ.
ACORN criticizes your clothing when you're not around.
ACORN threw confetti all over your living room last New Years and left before picking it up.
ACORN cut down the very last of the Truffula Trees.
@MoodyLoner It's dangerous to go alone. Take ACORN.
ACORN has better abs than you and never works out.
ACORN leaves empty food containers in the fridge.
ACORN canceled your subscription to Vogue without asking.
ACORN makes your butt look big.
ACORN didn't ask you to the dance.
ACORN will steal your honey like it stole your bike.
ACORN puts pips in grapefruit, rendering them inedible.
ACORN taught Ringo Starr how to drum.
ACORN is responsible for Crocs.
ACORN cuts the roof of your mouth, making chewing painful.
ACORN makes Glenn Beck cry.
ACORN smashed your jack-o-lantern Halloween 1984.
ACORN puts an additive in cocoa mix, making it impossible to blend it into liquid.
ACORN sacked Rome in the early 4th century.
ACORN shot J.R. #acornfacts
ACORN is artificially inflating the price of Doritos.
ACORN burns your grilled cheese sandwiches.
ACORN masterminded the Star Wars prequels.
ACORN steps on your vacuum lines, making your carpet lose that "just vacuumed" look.
ACORN steals all your left socks.
ACORN brought back swing music in the late '90s.
ACORN saved Hitler's brain.
ACORN shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
@shortstack81 You fool. Can't you see ACORN are really just reverse vampires? Or have they gotten to you, too?!
ACORN canceled Arrested Development.
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