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It's official: the Republican Party has lost its collective mind:

Republican leaders are circulating a resolution listing 10 positions Republican candidates should support to demonstrate that they "espouse conservative principles and public policies" that are in opposition to "Obama’s socialist agenda." According to the resolution, any Republican candidate who broke with the party on three or more of these issues– in votes cast, public statements made or answering a questionnaire – would be penalized by being denied party funds or the party endorsement.

And in case you were wondering why they settled on three as the proverbial straw, it's based on the gospel according to St. Ronicus, who believed:

... that someone who agreed with him 8 out of 10 times was his friend, not his opponent.

If nothing else, we must give credit to the GOP for consistency -- three strikes and you're out.

So, what are the ten steps to political purity?

There's the old, tired pretense that the GOP stands for smaller government, debt, deficits and taxes, never mind their history of doing just the opposite -- unless you're among the very rich -- because then you'll get a tax cut, oppose health care reform because we have the best darn system in the world, even though we don't, drill, baby, drill, screw the unions, English only, and then:

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;

Translation: Republicans want to be ruled by military junta -- oh, and while they're very concerned that some unauthorized brown person might visit a doctor, they are not at all worried about where the next trillion dollars is going to come from to pay for that still undefined "victory."

They also must want to bomb the Axis of Evil du jour, make sure their marriages aren't threatened by other people's happiness, oppose non-existent death panels, and they really want to keep their guns even though no one is trying to take them away.

In a nutshell? They're all teabaggers now.

Originally posted to Daily Kos on Mon Nov 23, 2009 at 03:06 PM PST.

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