Scheduled to appear: Late Show band leader Paul Shaffer and his bald head make an appearance, as does actress Shohreh Aghdashloo, currently on ABC's "FlashForward". And very good looking. Shut up.
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Before we get to the show highlights from last night, as always, it's time to vent.
My Rant for The Hole: Shut Up, McDonald's, With The McDouble.
If you missed reading the other sections of the newspaper the day after Election Day ’08, here’s a story you might have missed: McDonald’s replaced the Double Cheeseburger on the Dollar Menu with…a Double Burger with Cheese. Or, as the Golden Arches of Cholesterol calls it, the McDouble.
Apparently, the franchisees had a secret vote, decided that this gem of marketing genius was a grand idea, and decided to keep the Double Cheeseburger at an increased price of $1.19.
Therefore, McDonalds is selling two similar sandwiches, with two levels of cheese, 19 cents apart from one another.
This is a stupid idea. Ba-da-ba-ba-baah, I’m hatin’ it.
I mean, seriously; what is the point of selling two sammiches that are identical, sans one slice of friggin cheese? And that just goes to show what the franchisees think of its customers. Let's go to the thought bubble for that:
To sum up, you are suckers. We’re going to remove a slice of cheese and change the name of a sandwich, even though it's the exact same sandwich. And we'll put it on the cheapest menu, take the other one off, and we’ll rake in profit when you dum-dums want the extra slice of cheese. How ya like me now?
Really, wouldn’t have been more profitable to do what they were obviously thinking; removing the single slice of cheese from the double cheeseburger? This way, you still have one sandwich, and if they want the extra slice of cheese, they pay you for it! Why is that such a hard concept for that company to grasp?
Then I consider who and what are we talking about. This same company sells compressed rib meat--that we aren't really sure is, in fact, rib meat--in the shape of a slab of baby back ribs, slaps barbeque sauce on it, and then other burger items sans ketchup and mustard and lettuce, and calls it “McRib”. This same company tried to act as if they didn’t remove super-sized menu options in response to Morgan Spurlock showing how eating that shit on a regular basis would in fact send you to the edge of diabetes and possibly over. This same company calls Thousand Island dressing “special sauce”, and puts it on a sandwich that they...ahem...borrowed from the intellectual property of Bob's Big Boy.
Should I be so surprised that they would do something as dumb as selling two double cheeseburgers with two options of cheese?
To quote the great orator of our time, John Sidney McCain, “That’s not change you can believe in, hehehehehehehehehehhhhh.”
Now...where's that Double Cheeseburger?
Anyhoo...let me stuff it, while you watch some Craig highlights...
...featuring the what?
TITLES & Monologue time!
Email time is always good.
But of course...the question we ask always: