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Faux news has confirmed reports the Republican Party are desperate.  Faced with inter-party squabbles and lack of leadership, the GOP hope invigorate debate and spirit by recycling Regan talking points from Zombie Reagan.  On news of his successful return, many of the GOP talking heads, radio hosts, teabaggers and politicians rushed to meet him.  

Afterwards, they left with an even more paler complexion, incoherent moaning, and clamoring for 'brains'.  Here are quotes from the meeting:

Rep. Bachmann:  "Mrrorghrr DEATH PAENLS NOW"

Senator McCain: "Nom Nom Nom" (Munching on Sen McConnell's torso)  

Senator Liebermann:  "A return to common sense conservative values is what this country needs and I will work hand in hand in a bi-partisan manner...(ARRGHHH NOT MY HAND McCain!!!!)" then groaned "Condems heer now eeeat MROGHHGHPGHH now brain"

Watching from a distance, Senator Ben Nelson (D-NE)and Blance Lincoln (D-AR) were watching and replied "Ok".

Here's the latest video footage:


Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

Upon news of conservative Democrats becoming zombies in the Senate, progressive democrats have jumped on the idea of reconciliation and arming themselves with objects with poky points and baseball bats.  

Senator Reid responded, "Waiting for the scoring of CBO (*jab*GET BACK CORYN!) to see if the latest proposal is budget neutral and still hope to gain the magic 60 votes for cloture".  

No word from the oval office of next steps on healthcare reform/zombie uprising.  

Originally posted to optimusprime on Mon Dec 14, 2009 at 03:51 PM PST.

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