First thing you should know, you have to buy this car. You have no choice. The government has made it a law that everyone has to buy a car.
And, I'll admit, I make about a 30 percent profit on this car. That's right now. Actually, I can make as much as I want in profits on this car, because I get to set the price. (Lucky me.)
One little problem you should know about, sometimes this car will take you where you want to go, and sometimes it won't.
I can't really tell you up front where it will take you and where you won't. Oh, we'll have a list of acceptable destinations and those that are off-limits. But... we don't really have to stick to those. (Fine print.) We can just decide, sometimes, that we don't want to take you to that place you want to go, and we won't.
We can raise the price to get you there, too, just because... well, just because. Buying the car now is no guarantee.
And sometimes when you most need the car -- say you've got cancer and really need the doctor -- we can just decide not to take you at all, anyway. The car might just stop working completely, despite what you paid for it.
You say, you don't have the money to buy a car? Well, you have to. That's that. Everyone has to have a car. End of story. Buy the friggin' car.
You don't have a job? We can't fix every little thing, you know. We decided to fix this first, and we don't care if you don't have a job. Buy the damned car. We said so.
You say it doens't work like this in other countries? Everyone there gets a car, and they get to go wherever they need to and cars are cheaper there?
Sorry. You're an American. It doesn't work that way here.
BTW, your lawmakers cars? Those are special. Those are the very best cars. They don't pay anything for their cars. You pay for their cars and your car, too. And their cars always go where they need to go. Their cars never stop running. No restrictions at all. Theirs are Cadillacs.
That's just the way it works.
Our system is better than anyone else's in the world. I, the car-maker and the law-makers, promise. We couldn't think of a way to make it any better. We tried hard, but we just couldn't.
It's a complete mystery to us how any other country in the world does it.